Page 59 of Fight Or Flight

“Mom,” I whisper, nudging her shoulder. She doesn’t wake at first, and for a second my heart skips a beat. I nudge her harder and a groan escapes her. Breathing a sigh of relief, I nestle closer.

“Brook, baby,” she rasps groggily.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” I tell her as she struggles to open her eyes and look at me.

“Did you have a nice time?” she croaks.

“I had the best time…mom…he kissed me. Eric kissed me,” I whisper, and a small smile flashes across her pale lips. “I’ve never been kissed like that before.”

“Oh, my girl,” she whispers, closing her eyes.

I pull my lip between my teeth and the excitement I was feeling only a moment ago fades when she doesn’t open her eyes again.

“Mom?”

“I’m happy for you, sweetie.”

Something isn’t right, and it’s not because I woke her up. Her lips are blue. Her skin is grayer.

“Mom! Look at me!”

“I love you, Brooklyn.”

No, no, no.

Please, God, no.

“Mom?”

Fear slices through me, and I rise to my knees on the bed. I nudge her again, this time I’m not as gentle.

“Open your eyes, Mom. Please. Don’t do this,” I shriek. My stomach twists in knots and bile rises to my throat.

No, no, no.

Please, God, no.

She doesn’t open her eyes.

She doesn’t say another word.

I lay my head on her chest like I’ve done so many times before.

I listen for the beat.

Thump…thump…thump…

I feel the rise of her chest as the air fills her lungs.

Then she releases that breath and I feel the fall.

I wait for it to repeat.

I wait and I wait, but it never comes.

Not another beat.

Nor another breath.

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