Page 64 of Fight Or Flight

He’s too handsome for his own good, and he doesn’t even know it.

Images of the other night flood my head and I recall the way he kissed me on the beach. The feel of his lips on mine, the taste of his tongue, and the way my whole body came alive under his touch. It was the best night of my life, until we came home, and it became the worst.

“No one wants espresso,” he says.

His eyes find mine as he pushes off the doorjamb, and my throat suddenly gets tight as he starts for me. I try to recall why I’ve been avoiding him for the last twenty-four hours, but I draw a blank.

“In fact, grandpa fell asleep on the couch with an eggplant parm hero in his lap and grandma is waxing the floors,” he continues.

My eyebrows pull together in confusion.

“So, you lied. Why?”

“Because I wanted to be alone with you,” he says softly. He takes another step closer and I force myself to take one back. Aside from wanting my mother back, the only other thing I want is him, but having him means losing him and I can’t lose another person.

Frowning, Eric goes still in front of me.

“You locked your door last night.”

Hating the sight of the disappointment in his eyes, I look away and question my decision to lock that door last night. It felt like a means of survival. I was struggling with my anxiety knowing I’d be burying my mom today and all I wanted was him. I wanted him to hold me and tell me he believed there was beauty in every storm, even the most tragic ones. I knew if I left that door unlocked, he would undoubtedly do all those things. He’d slide into his bed with me and as he comforted me, he unintentionally skirts past the gaping holes of my heart to find a small corner he could claim for himself. I wouldn’t fight it either. I’d give him what’s left of me, all the broken pieces, and pray he’d take good care of them.

And he would. For a short while, Eric would go out of his way to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world. He’d mend my broken heart and make me fall head over heels in love with him.

But then he’ll leave.

They all do.

Everyone I love.

My gaze wanders to the empty bed.

Proof.

“Brook. C’mon, look at me. If you want to be alone, that’s cool. I respect that. You’re grieving and need space, I get it, but tell me if I did something wrong.” He pauses, muttering a curse. “That’s a lie, I don’t get it. I’ll never get it. But I want to help.”

I turn my head and our eyes lock as he roughly drags his fingers through his hair. Looking conflicted, he cups the back of his neck before taking another step closer to me. This time, I don’t retreat.

“We don’t have to talk about that night if you don’t want to,” he continues. “Just tell me you don’t regret it.”

I should regret it. I should be kicking myself for going to that party with him because all those hours I spent kissing him, I could’ve spent with my mom, but I don’t. That’s gotta make me the world’s worst daughter.

“I don’t regret it,” I whisper.

As soon as the words leave my lips, he releases his hold on his neck and breathes a sigh of relief. “But it can’t happen again,” I say, hoarsely.

“If you’re worried about my dad, I took care of it.”

Riggs should probably be a factor in this decision—Lauren, too. I mean, I’m sure they didn’t factor me and Eric becoming a thing when they agreed to take me in. However, they have nothing to do with it.

“I can’t be reckless with my heart, Eric,” I clarify. “I can’t get close to you.”

“Sure you can,” he says, taking another step toward me. Any closer and I’ll be able to feel his soft breath on my face. I lift my hand and press it against his chest, an attempt to push him away and put distance between us, but his reflexes are quick and he closes his hand around my wrist, holding my hand to his chest. I can feel his racing heart beneath my fingertips.

“Talk to me,” he murmurs. “Tell me what’s going on in your head so I can make sense of it.”

He laces our fingers together and brushes his lips against my knuckles. It’s distracting and everything I thought I was sure of suddenly becomes a blur.

“You’re going to bootcamp,” I blurt.

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