Page 104 of Blackout-

Ain’t that the truth.

“He was three when she took me to court and the judge gave Kiki full custody and honestly, I was relieved. Every now and then I’d feel guilty and sometimes I found the nerve to show up on her doorstep. After three times she got a restraining order against me. A year later, Kiki died in a car crash.”

At that, my gaze snaps back to him and I open my mouth to offer my condolences, but he keeps on talking. It’s almost as if he’s opened a wound and can’t control the bleeding.

“I was in no position to raise a child and no one in their right mind was going to give him to me. A judge awarded guardianship to Kiki’s brother, Pete.”

He stops for a moment and I watch him clench his fists at his side before continuing.

“I had only met him once or twice and didn’t know much about him, but I figured he was the best option for Conner. The kid barely knew me, and he had just lost his mother. I checked myself into rehab and after twenty-eight days I went down to family court to see about getting visitation. It took some time, but I was finally able to get court appointed visits. Conner didn’t really want to be bothered with me and I had no one to blame but myself. Then one visit he was just…different. He didn’t look like an innocent little boy but rather someone who was dragged down by life and at four years old, no kid should look like that. I thought his mother’s death was hitting him or my sudden interest in him was too much. I was about to call the visits off and tell him he never had to see me again, but then he said one word,” he says with a strained voice.

Lifting his eyes to mine, he grits his teeth and I swear there are tears in his eyes.

“One word,” he rasps. “Help.”

Suddenly my stomach drops, and I feel like I’m watching a horror movie. You know the killer is behind the door and instead of running, you’re rooted in place watching the knob slowly turn.

“Do you know that was when I realized I loved him? I looked into his eyes and I listened as he repeated the single word and I knew there was nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for him. I’d kill, cheat, and steal. I’d break through locked doors. I’d do whatever I could tohelphim.”

He shakes his head.

“I should’ve killed him,” he sneers.

“Who?”

“Pete, I should’ve left the visit and fucking killed him for touching my boy. Instead, I told the caseworker.”

My blood runs cold as I swallow.

“He hit him?” I question, dreading the answer. Laying a hand on an innocent child is never okay, but anything else…well, it’s fucking unspeakable. It’s fucking vile. It’s everything ugly in the world.

“No,” he said hoarsely. His eyes meet mine and he shakes his head. “Don’t make me connect the dots for you, man,” he pleads. “I can’t take much more.”

Swallowing, I nod, and I remember the picture I’m holding. My eyes divert towards the little boy and anger boils in my veins. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never met the kid. I know his story now and I’ll never forget it. I’ll never forget him.

“What happened?” I ask, lifting my head. Bishop swipes a hand over his face and draws in a wrangled breath before continuing.

“I told the caseworker. I demanded she not let him go back there, but there’s a protocol for shit like this. The state would rather leave a kid in a house with a pedophile than give him to his father who fucked up a few times. I thought about kidnapping my own kid how’s that for desperation? But Shay talked me out of it.”

“I’m assuming Shay is the caseworker?”

He nods.

“The system is fucked, man, and I knew the only way to get Conner out of there was to lawyer up. I didn’t have two fucking nickels to rub together, though, and so, I took to my old ways. All I needed was one score to get me above water, but as luck would have it, I got pinched in the middle of the robbery and now, here I am.”

“What about Connor?” I question as I comb my fingers roughly through my hair. “Don’t tell me that piece of shit still has him.”

“Child services have him, but if Connor doesn’t testify against him, they’re gonna send him back there,” he says. “At least that’s what my fucking lawyer just told me. The kid is afraid, man. He’s got no one. He’s just a little boy. He doesn’t know I went to jail trying to help him. As far as he knows, I abandoned him in his time of need.”

“No,” I argue. “The social worker had to have told him—”

“Told him what? That his father went to prison because he robbed a house? Man, wake the fuck up.”

I don’t know if it’s because of the situation and that there is an innocent child at stake or if I’m looking for something to take my mind off my own shit, but before I can figure it out, I find myself offering a helping hand to the man who threatened to kill me if I so much as looked at his son’s picture.

“I’m part of a motorcycle club,” I reveal. “Maybe you’ve heard of them, The Satan’s Knights?”

“What the fuck is it to me?”

---