Page 128 of Blackout-

“Really?” I cry as my hand falls to my belly.

“Really,” he rasps.

Taking my free hand, he leads me into the living room and sits me down on the couch. As he takes a seat on the coffee table in front of me, Reina comes into the room and sits next to me. She gently drapes her arm around my shoulder and brings me close to her as the tears continuously fall down my cheeks.

“Tell me everything,” I cry.

“Well, we almost didn’t recognize him,” Reina starts, and I quickly pull away to study her face. Smiling at me, she tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “He shaved.”

“No way,” I admonish. As long as I’ve known Blackie, he’s always had facial hair. She nods in response. “But don’t worry, his hair is still as long as ever.”

“Reina gave him the picture of the baby,” my dad says, causing my eyes to dart between the two of them. “The look on his face…” his words trail as he shakes his head. “…it was beautiful.”

I bet it was.

In my dreams it always is.

“He kissed it,” Reina adds, and that bit of knowledge does me in. My shoulders shake as a sob sounds from the back of my throat.

I can see it.

If I close my eyes, I can see him lifting that photo to his lips. I can feel the love he has for her too. For it matches mine.

“I think it’s safe to say he’s still very much team girl, and she already has her daddy wrapped around her finger.”

I can see that too.

In my dreams, she’s as much wrapped around his heart as he is wrapped around her finger. For in my dreams they already share that unbreakable bond between a father and his daughter.

“For sure,” my father agrees. “Naturally he asked for you.”

Wiping my eyes, I snap my eyes back to him.

“What did you tell him?”

“He didn’t ask why you weren’t there, but his disappointment was written all over his face when he realized you weren’t coming.” He pauses for a moment, offering me a small smile. “He wanted to see pictures of you. Luckily, I had a few on hand and was able to oblige. He was really interested in knowing everything about the pregnancy. He wanted to know if you had any cravings and asked me to buy you a body pillow. Do you know what that is?”

“Of course I know what that is,” I laugh slightly. “I’m impressed that he does, though.”

“That makes two of us,” my father grunts before he releases a sigh and touches a hand to my knee. “I know you’ve got your reasons and I respect them, but you should reconsider seeing him. I think you’d be surprised by what you find.”

“I’m terrified,” I whisper truthfully.

“I know you are, but Lacey, it’s different this time. He’s different. I don’t know if it’s the baby coming or having hit rock bottom, but I see it in his eyes…he’s finally got a will to live, Lace.”

“You don’t get it,” I snap, brushing his hand away from my knee. “I can’t see him. I can’t lose him.”

I’m on my feet in a flash, putting as much space as possible between us. I lift my trembling hands to my head and I’m suddenly at my maker’s mercy. There is no making sense of my feelings or compartmentalizing my thoughts. There’s her voice and nothing else.

He’ll never love you.

Not sober.

He was high when he met you.

Impaired when he told you he loved you.

And fucking loaded when he married you.

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