Page 134 of Blackout-

Every word we uttered…mine.

Every tear we cried…mine.

All beautiful and all mine.

Feeling our child move inside of me…mine.

Sharing that moment with Blackie…mine.

All beautiful and all mine.

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense. What did he say? How did he sound? Your father told me he’s doing great,” my mother rambles, pulling my attention back to her.

“I think he is,” I murmur. “He sounded well. It was strange to hear his voice at first, but we fell into a conversation easily. He asked for the baby and told me a little about his treatment and his counselor. Then I felt the baby kick for the first time,” I pause, smiling at the memory. “He made me put the phone to my stomach, and he started talking to her.”

“Oh my God,” she gasps. Her hand flies to her mouth as everyone in the waiting room turns to her. “Sorry,” she grimaces. “That was loud, wasn’t it?”

“And a bit overdramatic.”

She swats my shoulder playfully and inches closer.

“What happened next?”

That’s the part that stings the most and the reason my mask has slipped.

“He got weird after that and ended the call,” I reveal, leaving out the part where he didn’t tell me he loved me. Although, I deserved that after not telling him I loved him when he was in the hospital. Still, it hurts and leaves me questioning us.

“I haven’t heard from him since,” I add. “I was hoping he would call before today’s appointment. He doesn’t know we’re finding out the sex.”

“You can’t be mad at him for hanging up, Lacey,” she says.

I’m not mad at him but I’m curious as to why she thinks I shouldn’t be.

“And you can’t be mad at him for not calling either.”

Okay, so I’m a little mad about that. Especially since he asked if he could call me again before he hung up.

“Why is that?”

“Because you’re not in his shoes,” she points out. “What he’s doing isn’t easy. If it were, he would’ve done it a long time ago. He’s going to have his bad days and there are things he’s going to need to work out for himself. Things he might not want to share with you. You have to trust the process and remind yourself, it’s all for a good cause.”

She makes sense and I find myself wondering where her insight stems from.

“Okay, where is this coming from?”

“Your father and I were already separated when he decided to get help,” she reveals. “But I couldn’t turn my back on him. Our marriage might’ve been over, but I still loved him, and I wanted to see him well. I wanted to see him be the father he never got to be with Junior.”

“I never knew that.”

She smiles at me.

“Why do you think we get along so well now?”

“Honestly? I thought you got along because you were divorced.”

She laughs and shakes her head.

“No, we get along because we got past the hurt and learned to respect one another. Jack knows I’ll always have his back just like I know he’ll always have mine. It’s a pretty sweet deal, and it just got sweeter because we get to be grandparents together.”

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