Page 15 of Blackout-

She nods her head in agreement, but something is off. Like I’m in tune with Jack’s maker, I’m just as familiar with Lacey’s and right now that vile bitch is flooding my girls head with doubt.

“I went to see him today,” she reveals. “My dad, I went by his house. I was ticked that he interrupted our plans and I was going to tell him to lay off you.”

“Lace—”

“I didn’t get the chance,” she interrupts. “Reina answered the door and told me to leave.” She pauses to shake her head and I watch as her eyes fill with tears. “I’ve never seen her like that,” she whispers. “So emotionally drained.”

Reina isn’t one to get bent out of shape about anything. That woman keeps her emotions in check at all times. If she breaks, no one knows.

“I forced my way inside and that’s when I saw him,” she continues, and the tears fall down her pretty face. “He looked so frail, so broken and battered. The only other time I remember seeing him like that was the day Junior died. The Lithium isn’t working for him anymore, Blackie,” she cries.

My body goes rigid as I process her words.

“Reina says the doctor wants to try another medication, but he’s refusing because there are physical side effects and he’s not ready to deal with that.”

Stuck on the news that Jack’s medication is no longer working, the rest of Lacey’s words fall on deaf ears as I replay the last few weeks over in my mind. Him being off Lithium explains a lot—like the fucking dead paramedic and the one gagged in the safe house, the erratic behavior and the reckless thoughts. It also means Pipe is right and I’m a whole lot closer to taking Jack’s place than I’d like to be.

“Blackie?”

Snapping out of it, I turn to her.

I might be losing my place as Jack’s right but she’s losing the first man she’s ever loved. She’s losing the man she looks up to, to the same illness she suffers from and I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t know how to make that right. It’s another broken promise. Another failure.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her, bringing my hands to her face.

I’m sorry for being so fucking consumed with my own shit, that I missed the signs. I’m sorry I was too busy getting drunk to be here for you when you needed me. I’m fucking sorry for everything but most of all I’m sorry our life together is doomed.

“Will you talk to him?”

“Yeah, baby, I’ll talk to him,” I assure her.

“You can’t tell him I saw him like that. Reina will be upset with me and he’ll never forgive her for letting me in the house while he was in that state. Just tell him my therapist let it slip.”

“Okay,” I agree, pacifying her. “Whatever you want me to do.”

More promises.

Straddling my thighs, she winds her arms around my neck and brushes the tip of her nose against mine.

“I want you to hold me,” she whispers. “I want you to love me and more than that, I want you to promise me if I ever get like that, you’ll make me get treatment. That you’ll never let our kids see me the way I saw my dad today.”

“Lacey—”

“Promise me, Blackie and I swear, right here, right now, that I’ll do the same. I’ll never let our son or daughter see you at your weakest.”

Swallowing, I lift my hands to her cheeks.

“I promise,” I rasp.

Promises.

They’re fucking worse than lies.

Chapter Seven

Blackie

The next morning,I was out of the house before the sun came up. I scribbled a note to Lacey, telling her I’d be back in a few hours and took my pipes to the community center. There, I sat in a circle, surrounded by people as broken as me and confessed my truth.

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