Page 160 of Blackout-

Subject:I couldn’t help myself…

Lace,

You just left a little while ago and I can still smell your pussy on my fingers. I know I told you I wanted to make it about you, that getting you off was enough for me. But, fuck, Lace, my dick is like fucking steel. Every time I close my eyes, I see you in that dress. Your tits in my face, our baby pressing against my stomach, and your pussy grinding against my cock.

You were so fucking wet.

So fucking perfect.

The scent of you filled every one of my senses. A perfect mix of your perfume, shampoo, and your sweet cunt.

I should’ve thrown you on top of the table and ate you. I miss feeling you come on my tongue. Instead, I fingered you, foolishly thinking it would be enough for us. But it’s never enough, is it? We fuck at our best when we’re pushing our boundaries, finding the balance between pleasure and pain. Next time I get you, I’ll be rough. Take you fucking hard until my dick bruises you.

I fucked my fist ten minutes ago.

I couldn’t help myself.

I’ll probably do it again.

Over and over until the scent of you fades from my fingers.

Until next time, girl.

Be ready for me.

All my love,

Blackie

Chapter Sixty

Blackie

I’ve knockedon death’s door more than a man should in his lifetime and yet I’ve never been as fucking terrified as I am right now. It’s pretty ridiculous considering I’ve wished for this. Even prayed for it if you can believe that.

“You’ve got that look on your face,” Sunny comments, pointing a finger at me. “What’s wrong?”

As someone who has had everything taken from him more than once, it’s hard to let myself get excited about anything. Especially, when it comes to things like freedom and being home for my daughter’s arrival.

I was sure Schwartz was fucking with me when he handed me those blank progress reports five weeks ago. So sure, I shoved them in the bottom of a drawer and forgot about them until he called a week later asking for them.

It’s still hard to comprehend that the son of a bitch has that much pull with the courts and the main reason why I haven’t told anyone other than my counselors who are testifying in front of the judge today on my behalf. The other reason is I don’t want to give Lacey false hope. I don’t want to sell her a dream and then have circumstances beyond my control make a liar out of me.

No more promises.

Only actions.

“Dominic?”

Slicing my attention to her, I stare at her thoughtfully.

Then, there’s the other thing that’s gnawing at me. What if I’m not ready to leave? What if I go back home and fuck everything up? As much as I want to be reunited with Lacey and be there for when the baby is born, I want to be the man they need. Not the one that disappoints them. I don’t want Lacey to doubt me and more than that, I don’t want to doubt myself.

And yet there is one question burning my tongue.

“What if I relapse?” I ask her quietly, narrowing my eyes at the progress report she holds in her hand. “Do you really believe what you wrote on that piece of paper or did you do it because I forced your hand?”

Sighing, she drops the paper on the table and crosses her arms against her chest. She doesn’t answer me at first and I figure that’s because I called her on her bluff.

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