Page 34 of Blackout-

Getting in my face, he pokes a finger against my chest. Those dark eyes of his glare at me menacingly.

“You’re overstepping. Any other man would’ve caught a bullet by now.”

“What’s the problem, Parrish?” Pipe questions from his seat. “You never held your illness back before.”

“Lacey says the Lithium isn’t working anymore,” I say, not giving a shit that I’m spreading his business.

“It’s not,” Jack growls. “There,” he sneers. “That what you wanted to hear, Blackie?”

No, it’s not and I realize as the confession leaves his lips, it’s not for the obvious reasons. Since Lacey mentioned the meds not working, I’ve been thinking what this means for me as the vice president of this club. I didn’t stop to think what it meant being his son-in-law or what it meant for Lacey. Jack’s not just Lacey’s father, he’s her role model, the one person in this world that gives her hope. She looks at him and sees a man who fights mental illness. He’s the fucking victor, her goddamn hero. He’s everything I can never be to her and he’s losing his war. I don’t know what that means for her and worse than that, I don’t know if she one day will follow in his footsteps.

“What happens now?” Pipe interjects.

“What happens is they give me some new meds and I pray they keep me sane or it won’t be long until my battle with this disease is over and I’m locked in some padded room wearing a straightjacket.”

The room goes still as he turns his gaze back to me.

“Congratulations, you’re one step closer to sitting at the head of this table.”

There it is, the words I’ve been dreading and yet, they’re meaningless. The only thing I can think of is Lacey. I picture her in the padded room wearing a straightjacket and the vision guts me. The room clears out and the sound of my brothers revving their engines forces me to shake the grim image from my head.

“When did you find out the meds weren’t working?” Pipe questions, making me aware he didn’t leave with the rest of the club. Blowing out a ragged bread, I turn my head and meet his gaze.

“Not until after I saw you,” I tell him. “Lacey went to visit him, and he was incapacitated. Fearing he’d hurt himself, Reina called his doctor. She made a house call and wound up sedating him. Jack doesn’t know that Lacey saw him like that, but I promised her I’d confront him.”

“This ain’t good,” Pipe comments.

“No shit,” I mutter.

“He didn’t even mention the paramedic. I gotta tell you, I’m not even sure he remembers we got her stashed up there. How long are we gonna do this for?”

“Do what?”

“Pacify him, Black. We’re digging our graves, here.”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’m in a rough spot, Pipe. I know I have an obligation to my club but he’s Lacey’s father first and foremost. If you think it’s hard for you to watch him lose his mind, put yourself in my shoes. I gotta look at him and wonder if it’s only a matter a time before I watch my wife go through the same shit.” I pause to stare at him for a moment. “I’ve spent nearly half my life watching Jack go through the ups and downs of being bipolar and I’ve remained impassive. It didn’t matter if I was high or sober, I kept my head straight and stood beside him through the mania and the depression. I’ve watched him soar and I’ve lifted him when he fell. I don’t know if I can watch my wife do that. It’ll break me.”

“You mean you don’t know if you’ll be able to be what she needs and stay sober.”

“I mean it’ll break my fucking heart to see her lose her mind.”

“Maybe, we’re jumping the gun. Maybe, whatever medication the doctor prescribes will work better than the Lithium,” Pipe counters. “In the meantime, you gotta quit thinking Lacey and Jack are one and the same. Man, Jack waited years before he sought treatment. Lacey got help early in life. She’s got a better chance at beating her maker than her father ever did.”

I pray he’s right.

“Black, look at me,” he orders. “Your girl is good, man.”

“From your mouth to God’s ears,” I say hoarsely.

“I ain’t the praying kind,” he admits. “But I’ll send one up for you.”

I nod as he stands and rounds the table. Reaching me, he scratches the scruff lining his jaw and sighs.

“Do me a solid?”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t go running,” he says. “You want to help your wife, keep your liver, your veins and your fucking nose clean. With Wolf all tangled up in his fucking feelings and Layla pregnant, my plate is full. I can’t help keep Jack in check and scrape you off the floor too. Keep your head straight and I’ll take care of this fucking mess with the paramedic.”

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