Page 53 of Forsaking All Others

“I bet it’s not better than Colt’s.”

I made a choice.

I brought a good man into my kids’ life. A man who made them pancakes every morning, even on school days—even after being on the road all night, and now he’s gone. Theo lost his dad, but Tara and Shep lost someone too.

I bring my eyes back to Maverick.

“Sheets.”

He tears his gaze away from Shepard and his eyes bore into mine.

“What?”

“I used to keep them in the bottom drawer of the dresser,” I say, smoothing a hand over Theo’s back. “Are they still there?”

“Yeah,” he rasps.

“Then you should probably get a move on it, because the kids are tired and they’re not laying their heads on that bed until you change the sheets.”

Petty, I know. But I’m fresh out of fucks.

Maverick continues to stare at me for a moment, then he saunters across the room and pulls a fresh set of sheets from the drawer.

“I can help you, dad,” Tara offers.

“No, sweetheart, I got it,” he murmurs as he removes the fitted sheet from the mattress. I watch as he wrestles with the sheet, trying to figure out which side goes where, then I look back at Tara.

“Honey, take your brother and both of you go change out of your clothes and brush your teeth,” I say, tipping my chin toward the bathroom door. Hitching her bag over her shoulder, she takes Shepard’s hand and leads him to the bathroom. With our two oldest out of sight, I move to the armchair in the corner of the room and lower myself into it.

Theo lifts his head from my chest. His eyes groggy from sleep find mine and he rubs them with his chubby little fists.

“Mommy?”

“Right here, baby,” I whisper hoarsely. I love looking at my baby, but more than anything I wish he’d fall back asleep because I have no idea how I’m going to tell him his daddy is gone.

“Where are we?” he asks, his gaze darting around the dark room. I brush his hair away from his forehead and kiss him softly. After spending all day in the hospital, the boy deserves to spend the night in his own bed. In his own house. He deserves to wake up in the morning and have his daddy’s pancakes.

I force a swallow.

“Maverick’s clubhouse.”

His brows scrunch with confusion but after a moment he lays his head back on my chest. I hug him tight and close my eyes.

“Where’s Daddy?” he whispers, and I swear my heart shatters into a million tiny pieces.

I wasn’t lying earlier when I told Maverick I always thought it would be him, but for all the times I let that grim thought fill my head, I never once prepared myself for what I’d say to my children if he did die and I sure as hell never gave any thought as to what I’d say if it was Colt who passed.

I open my eyes to find Maverick on his knees in front of me. I want to tell him to go away, to leave my boy alone, but then he lays a hand on Theo’s back and the tears I was fighting break free.

“Hey, buddy,” Maverick calls gently, his tone hoarse.

Theo keeps his head against my chest but turns to meet Maverick’s gaze.

“Do you know what Heaven is?”

Theo shakes his head and I close my eyes. He’s too young for this conversation. He’s too young for this kind of heartbreak. He’s too young to suffer the consequences of his mother’s choice.

“Heaven is a big, beautiful place in the sky where all the good people go to become angels,” Maverick rasps.

---