Page 74 of Love is Blind

Pulling my hair out of the collar of my shirt, I turn to him.

“I’ve lost count how many times we’ve gone ungloved and I haven’t been pulling out. That’s on me, but if you don’t got a problem going on birth control, it might be a good idea.”

He’s right we’ve been completely reckless, more so since I moved into the clubhouse with him. Shaking my head, I say, “I’m not against it. I’ll ask Emmy who her doctor is and make an appointment.”

“I’ll go with you.” Then he cups my face and lowers his forehead to mine. “Be cute as fuck.”

“What?”

“A baby. Yours and mine. Cute as fuck.”

Grief and despair tear through my heart at those words and my eyes fill with tears. Since I lost my vision, I’ve been pushing through, forcing myself to live life in spite of my disability. I never dwelled on what I couldn’t have.

I never asked myselfwhy me?

The tears slip from the corners of my eyes and he inches back, thumbing them away.

“Birdie,” he rasps.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying.”

But I do.

Emmy’s voice rings in my head.

He’s rugged and rough around the edges, with sharp blue eyes and a stare that screams don’t fuck with me. He’s got a beard. It’s not ragged or unkept, in fact it’s really nice and there’s a hint of gray in there. His dark brown locks are overdue for a trim and, yes, he’s tall.

“That’s a lie,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “I’m crying because I’ll never seeyouand, Ghost, I’ve never wanted to see anything more.”

Before I can say another word, his lips capture mine in a soft kiss and this one just might be the saddest love letter ever written.

After a moment he breaks the kiss and murmurs, “I promise, you ain’t missin’ much. I’m nothing to look at.”

“I don’t believe that.”

Not for a single second.

Chapter Nineteen

Birdie

Something was goingon with Birdie and leaving Birdie inside that trailer, with tears staining her cheeks just about fucking gutted me. It dimmed a light I didn’t know was lit inside of me. But it had taken Wiz over a week to get me on the visitor’s list and I had a two hour and forty-five minute drive to Mecklenburg County Jail. If I was gonna sit down with Mendez and square away whatever beef she was running from, I had to get on the road.

I’d make it up to her when I got home.

Take away whatever pain she was experiencing.

And man, was she in pain. I don’t know if it was the baby comment that got to her, or if it was something festering inside that just broke free, but either way I’d make it right. I’ll tell you one thing, though, the baby thing was eating at me. Still is.

After I pulled out of her and saw my come leaking down her leg, soaking her panties, I knew I had to say something. Since I moved her into the clubhouse with me—hell, even before that—I was careless. I fucked her two times a day, sometimes three. If I was lucky I wrapped my cock once, maybe twice and I hardly ever remembered to pull out.

We were playing with fire.

I remembered the comment she made about her eggs when she and Emmy were job hunting. Her saying no one would buy them because of her genetic disease. I was angered then, but I didn’t know why.

I know now.

Birdie and I…we’dmake some beautiful babies.

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