Page 80 of Love is Blind

“Birdie, I ain’t mad about it. That’s not why we’re having this conversation.”

My eyes spring open and I cross my arms against my chest.

“It’s not?”

“No, but baby, you’re gonna have to fill in some blanks for me, because I’ve already lost too much in this lifetime.” He closes the little distance between us and pulls my arms away from my chest. Lifting a hand to my chin, he turns my head. “I’ve been running on misery since Abigail died but when I’m with you I don’t feel it. You make the hole smaller, Birdie. I don’t think about getting high. I don’t look for a way out. You light up my dark world, baby. A man finds that, he doesn’t piss away. You need to tell me everything and I swear to you I’ll make it go away.”

Tears slide from the corners of eyes.

Liquid guilt.

It’s just as real as liquid courage, but it isn’t found in a bottle behind a bar. It pours from your conscience when you least expect it.

Wiping my cheeks, I rasp, “I was going to tell you, I swear.”

“It’s okay, you’re telling me now.”

I turn away from him. Yes, I planned on telling him everything tonight when we were alone, but that’s about as far as I got. I don’t know where to start. How do you tell the man who has opened your heart, that you’re not who he thinks you are? That you have your own list of crimes and sins and their just as wicked as his.

How do you tell him you smuggled drugs when drugs are what ultimately stole his baby girl from him?

“I met Angel in bar, his cousin owned the place, so we ran into each other a lot. My lease was up, and he was looking for a roommate so I moved in with him. Two months later we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Shortly after that, he got laid off from his job. His cousin Alejandro, the guy who owned the bar, hooked him up with a guy named Ralphie, and he started dealing for him. I didn’t know how deeply involved he was until the cops busted into our apartment and dragged us both out in cuffs.” I turn back to him, silently hoping my eyes meet his and they convey the truth. “I’m not a drug addict, Ghost. I want to make that clear before I go any further. Sure, I’ve smoked pot a few times and once, back in high school, I snorted coke, but that’s it.”

“I know that, that’s why I went to Charlotte. I had Wiz look into you when you lied to me about Oreo. He came back with an arrest—a drug charge—but that didn’t add up for me.”

Wow, okay.

“You know what happened to Oreo?”

“I take that to mean there’s more to the story you gave me.”

There’s more to everything.

“Yes, but I should probably continue with the arrest, that way you have a better understanding as to what happened with Oreo.” He gives me the floor, and I explain how the cops raided the apartment. “They found bricks of cocaine in the cabinet above the freezer. When we got to the station, they separated us. I was brought into an interrogation room where they asked me the same questions over and over. I don’t know how long I was there, but it seemed like days. They thought I was his accomplice. They said they had proof, but they couldn’t have unless someone had planted something, and I guess that’s possible. Angel could’ve pinned the whole thing on me, and I’d never know.”

Think about it, it’s kind of genius.

“Did he?”

I shake my head.

“No. Angel isn’t that smart, Ghost. That’s why he got caught.”

“Go back to Ralphie,” Ghost presses. “Angel mentioned him to me.”

Of course he did.

“Ralphie is the one who bailed me out. Although, I didn’t know any of that until days after I was free. The apartment was trashed, and Oreo was missing. When I found him, he was dead. They took his legs off. That’s when Ralphie’s guys grabbed me.”

I close my eyes at the memory. They covered my mouth with tape and tied my hands together before they threw me into what I could only assume was the trunk of a car. It was a very small space, the only way I fit was folded into the fetal position.

“Ralphie was mad about the drugs,” I continue, opening my eyes. “The cops confiscated them as evidence, and he lost a lot of money. He said wanted me to smuggle his product into the jail for Angel. The plan was for Angel to sell to the inmates. He said if I didn’t cooperate, I’d end up just like my dog. I didn’t know what to do, Ghost. Angel took care of everything, or at least that’s what I thought. All our bills were behind, and the landlord was threatening eviction.”

“So you agreed to work for him.”

I nod. The thing is, I had no idea who I was up against. I didn’t know I was signing my soul to the Devil himself.

“He put the drugs in my cane. That’s how I got them through, then the guards would look the other way while I slipped them under the table to Angel. I made a few visits and each time I left the jail, I thought I was done. That the debt was paid, but Ralphie kept showing up. He kept filling my cane with that poison. That’s why I ran. I knew if I stayed, it would never end.”

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