Page 87 of Love is Blind

One he’ll never forget.

I flex my hand and lift my chin.

“I’m fine.”

Whether he believes me or not, he doesn’t say. Clapping a hand to my shoulder, he tips his chin to the curb where all the bikes are parked. “Take your time, we’re all here. Holly has the prospects lighting the sternos back at the clubhouse.”

After the arrangements were made, Holly offered to do a repass at the clubhouse. It wasn’t necessary, but the woman jumps at any chance to cook.

“Thanks, man.”

He nods, dropping his hand from my shoulder and tips his chin to Leftie before making his way back to his bike. My gaze slides to Leftie and I watch as the man who treated me like a son pays his final respects to the man whose son I truly am. It’s somber moment and it makes me realize I don’t have too much time left with Leftie either.

He makes his way to me, huffing and puffing with every step. When he reaches me, he doesn’t say a word, he just wraps his big arms around me and pats me on the back. My throat goes tight and I pull back, holding him at arms-length while I stare straight into his eyes.

“Take care of yourself,” I rasp. “You’re the only family I got left.”

He shakes his head.

“Son, if I died tomorrow, you’d be well taken care of and I’m not referring to the club.” He pauses, his eyes darting over my shoulder. I don’t have to turn my head to know he’s looking at Birdie. When the girl said I didn’t have to go through it alone, she meant it. She’s had my back since that night, giving me space but not enough that I can’t feel her.

“That girl loves you,” Leftie continues, bringing his beady eyes back to me. “Got a chance at another life—a good life. Makes me proud to see you take it.”

With that, he lets me go and huffs down to the hill to join the others.

“Lucy, forward,” Birdie commands softly from behind me. I turn around as she and the dog make their way over to me. She didn’t bring her cane today, so I grab her hand before she goes too far. Her fingers interlock with mine and she lifts her chin.

“Do you want me to give you a minute to say goodbye?” she questions softly.

I brush her hair away from her face and shake my head—a habit I’ve yet to break.

“Stay,” I say huskily.

Staring at her for a moment, I feel a ping of regret. I should’ve brought her to meet him. There would’ve been no way of hiding the strain of our relationship, but maybe she would’ve had the same effect on him as she does me.

Maybe she could’ve given him peace.

It’s too late for thoughts like that, though.

I lead her to the coffin and quietly say goodbye. Then without giving it too much thought, I bend down and pull a single rose from one of the arrangements. Turning back to Birdie, I squeeze her hand and say, “Come with me?”

“Sure,” she whispers.

We walk to the next section of the cemetery to where Abigail is buried. But it’s not as easy to spot her grave this time. There’s no faded marker. I take a step forward and that’s when I see it…a beautiful gray headstone. I swallow hard, my eyes filling with tears as I read my daughter’s name. Just above it there is a teddy bear with angel wings and a scripture that reads‘An angel too precious for Earth.’But there’s more—directly under name it says Beloved Daughter.

After I left my dad’s the day Bianca first surfaced, I went and ordered the stone. I was going to wait and have Leftie take me but, I decided to do it on my own. But this is the first time I’m seeing it for myself.

I thought putting a headstone at her grave would make me relive it—make it feel too final. In a way I was right, but there’s peace to be found too. My baby is gone, but nothing and no one can ever hurt her.

“You’re not alone anymore, little girl. Grandpa’s got you now.”

Birdie squeezes my hand as I lay the flower in front of the stone. It’s not a grand bouquet, but a rose from her grandpa is just as special.

Straightening up, I pull in a deep breath and take Birdie into my arms.

Touching her hand to my chest, she asks, “Are you okay?”

I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay when it comes to my daughter.

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