Page 16 of Dirty Deeds

Sure we were separated, but I had just filed for divorce. I was still wearing my wedding rings when I met Enzo. It just didn’t feel right.

“Your husband is sticking his dick in anything with a pulse, and you threw away Bob the Builder’s card? What’s wrong with you?”

“Bob the Builder?”

“It’s all I could come up with. You woke me in the middle of the night, and I haven’t had my daily intake of caffeine yet.” She waves her hand dismissively. “We’re veering off track. If you tossed the card how the hell did he end up rearranging Brent’s face?”

I suck my lower lip between my teeth.

“Well, I left out one little part…I kinda…well…I sort of…”

My voice trails and I blow out an exasperated breath.

“I slept with him.”

I wasn’t sure Ro’s eyes could get any wider, but here they are popping out of their sockets. She jumps to her feet and throws her hands in the air like a madwoman.

“Oh, thank God!” She lowers her hands and turns to me. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but I was getting worried about you. I know that’s rich coming from me. I mean, my husband is in jail, doing a twenty-five-year bid. I may never have sex again. But you, you can have all the sex! All the orgasms. Lots and lots of orgasms. You can do double duty for the two of us.”

“Ro, it was one time.”

“One time as in a singular orgasm or one night with multiple orgasms?”

I stare at her blankly. How did we get here?

“It’s a valid question, Danica.”

“One night, multiple orgasms.”

She clasps her hands together and grins.

“Oh, I love it.” The smile falls from her face, and she sinks down onto the couch again. “Wait, if it was so good, why didn’t you make it a regular thing? Is he married? Fuck, please don’t tell me he’s married.”

“He’s not married, and it happened on Christmas Eve.”

“That’s like six months after you met him.”

“Remember when I took myself on a post-divorce shopping spree?” She nods. “Well, I ran into him at the mall. He was Christmas shopping with his brother. They helped me to my car and invited me to Christmas Eve.”

“That’s why you blew me off?”

“I didn’t blow you off.”

She quirks an eyebrow.

“You told me you got food poisoning from some bad Chinese food you ate at the mall.”

“Ok, so maybe I lied, but it wasn’t to go spend Christmas with the Scottos. When I got back from shopping, Brent was waiting for me. He told me he was going to run for congress and that he needed my help. His advisors put it in his head that he’d be a more likeable candidate if he came off as relatable. The divorce was already final, so he couldn’t play the doting husband card.”

“So he decided to take the douchebag ex-husband route?”

“A lot of people get divorced, Ro, and co-parenting is all the rage these days.”

“That may be true, but you’re forgetting one tiny detail…there has to be a child in order for there to be any co-parenting. You and Brent didn’t even have a goldfish.”

I sigh. I’m not explaining things correctly. I suppose that’s what happens when you keep things to yourself for so long. When it’s time to share the truth, you talk in circles, trying to get it all out, knowing your leaving important pieces out and mincing words.

“They wanted to show the other side of divorce is what I’m trying to say. The side where two people who once loved each other decide they are better off as friends and support one another.”

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