She pouts but hops off the swing. I drop to one knee and circle her with my arms, bringing her close.
“I love you, Anna Banana.”
“Love you too, Uncle Enzo. Will you stay and read me a story before I go to bed?”
My gaze darts over her head to Danica. “You mind?”
She shakes her head. “Of course not.”
I press my lips to the top of Anna’s head before releasing her. She runs across the yard to her mother, and I turn to Danica.
“You’re amazing with her,” she says as I stand and make my way behind her. Wrapping my hands around the chains I pull the swing back and push it forward.
“She makes it easy,” I reply.
Silence falls over us as I continue to swing her. Then she looks at me from over her shoulder. “Can I ask a personal question?”
“Go ahead.”
“Well, I know she’s Frankie’s, and that Carrie and Nico are together now, but does she refer to Nico as her dad sometimes?”
I stop swinging, my fingers tightening around the chains as I try to decide how to answer the question. Frankie and Carrie were high school sweethearts when she became pregnant with Anna, but them being teenagers was not the most stressing problem. Carrie’s father was the district attorney at the time, and he was determined to send my father and his brothers to prison. It was a mess. Her father threw her out and my father took her in. But Frankie went away to school, got involved with the wrong crowd and started doing drugs. During that time, Carrie started leaning on Nico.
After Anna was born, Frankie came back home, but he wasn’t himself. When he died, Nico tried to distance himself from Carrie, but eventually, he realized he was only hurting Anna. She needed all of us. She deserved all of us.
It took years for Carrie and Nico to get together, but even now they still struggle with their guilt.
“Anna knows her father is in heaven, and she knows that Nico and I are her uncles. Sometimes she’ll slip up and call Nico, dad, but it never sticks.”
“Does that bother Nico?”
“Well, it doesn’t stick because he’s quick to correct her. He’ll tickle her and say, ‘Daddy’s in heaven’, or something like that. But it kills him to do it. He’s torn, Danica. He loves her like she’s his, and he treats her like she’s his. Part of him is always going to want to be her dad, but there’s a bigger part of him that won’t let that happen because he feels like it would be a slap in the face to Frankie if it does.”
I park my ass on the swing next to her and reach for her hand.
“Nico and Carrie have been talking about having a baby,” I continue. “I think things will come to a head when that happens. Anna will see her brother or sister call Nico dad and it’ll come natural for her. She’ll be a little older and when Nico corrects her, she’ll tell him it’s okay. Frankie will always be her father, but Nico has been her dad since she took her first breath.”
At least I hope that’s what happened. It fucking kills me to see my brother so twisted in knots when it comes to this situation.
“What about you?” she asks, giving my hand a squeeze.
“What about me?”
“Do you want kids some day?”
I stare at her quietly, then I lay it all bare for her. “Four.”
Her eyes go wide, but a smile fills her face.
“You sound very sure about that number.”
“Oh, I am.” I lace our fingers together. “What about you?”
She tears her gaze away from me and looks aimlessly at my brother’s house.
“I always wanted a great big family. Lots of kids, a couple of dogs…” Her voice trails and I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t.
“And you don’t want that anymore?”