Page 19 of Property of Shotgun

That was probably too much information, but I can’t take it back now. To Shotgun’s credit, his eyes never waver from my face.

“Jade, they don’t care what you look like. They just want to see that you’re alive and well.”

I don’t know when he became the voice of reason, or how it’s possible for him to know exactly what I need to hear, but he’s talented in that regard. It’d be endearing if it wasn’t so damn infuriating.

Worrying my lower lip between my teeth, I concede the pajamas aren’t a necessity. “I’d still like to shower before they get here.”

He nods. “You want me to swing by the house and grab you some clothes?”

The immediate response should be yes, but then he’d have to leave, and I don’t know that I want him too.

God, I’m a fucking mess.

“My maternity pajamas are in the top dresser drawer. I’m going to need my nursing bras, and regular underwear too. I don’t know if they’re in the same drawer. If not, they might be in a bag in the closet.”

His jaw goes slack for a split second, and I watch his throat bob as he swallows.

“Anything else?”

“You can grab whatever toiletries that are in the master bathroom too, and my brush is somewhere on the vanity. Oh, and I’m going to need my toothbrush. It’s the black one.”

Shotgun slaps his hands against his thighs before he pushes out of the chair.

“Toiletries, brush, and toothbrush. Got it.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “What about the boys? Can I just take anything from their closets?”

“Yes, but if you can find the Big Brother shirts I bought, that would be great. Oh, and I did start to put some things in my diaper bag.” I don’t know that I’ll be able to dress Killian while he’s in the NICU, but there’s the blanket I used when all the boys were born that I could probably place in the incubator with him. “It’s in the nursery, on top of the glider.”

“The glider?”

“It’s like a rocking chair.”

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to find all this shit, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. Do you want me to bring you anything to eat?”

I shake my head. That would only delay him longer.

“No, that’s enough.”

“Mommy!” Raiden cheers as he runs past Biggie who holds the door open with one hand, and a bouquet of flowers in the other. He bends down, handing the flowers to Legend, who takes them but makes no move to fully enter the hospital room.

“Easy, buddy,” Shotgun says, as he catches him by the waist and throws him over his shoulder, effectively halting him from body slamming himself on top of the bed. “Mommy’s belly is still sore from where they took Killian out.” He tickles his sides, causing a fleet of giggles to burst free. The sound so sweet. “How’s it feel to be a big brother?”

My gaze cuts back to where Legend stands. “I’m so happy to see you boys.” I hold out my hand, silently encouraging him to come closer. “I missed you both so much.”

Shotgun gently deposits Raiden on the foot of my bed before walking over to Legend.

“She’s okay, Legend. I promise.” He holds up his pinky, and I watch as my son slowly lifts his and winds it around Shotgun’s. Then his eyes come to mine, and he drops his hand to his side. I wink at him, and a tear falls from the corner of my eye. He comes to the side of the bed and pushes the flowers toward me.

“We got these for you.”

Thumbing away the stray tear, I smile widely. “They’re beautiful, but you know what I could really use right now?” He sets the flowers on the rolling table next to my bed before leaning over the railing to press a kiss to my cheek. I wrap my arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry I scared you, but I’m proud of you for calling Uncle Shotty for help. That was brave, and your dad would be so proud too.”

“Me too!” Raiden says. “You proud of me too!”

I laugh. The sound foreign to my own ears. “Yes, of course. Come here and give me some sugar. Just be gentle, okay? Uncle Shotty was right when he said Mommy’s belly is still healing.”

“When are you able to come home?” Legend asks as he settles into my side, giving his brother room to hug me.

“I’m not sure,” I tell him honestly, but as I say those words another reality hits me—one I haven’t allowed myself to entertain. There is a strong possibility I will be discharged without Killian. I don’t know how I’m going to manage that.

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