Page 74 of Home Hearts Hooves

“Yeah,” she says cautiously.

“Good, because I did. I do. I mean, like not the same way as I did then, but you know what I mean.”

“Pres, you’re starting to worry me. Should I come down to the clinic? Are you okay?”

“No. I’m fine. Better than fine. I’m happy. Like really, really happy and I just…” Why is it so hard to tell her? I came out to my parents so easily, and I had no idea what their views on the subject were.

“Preston, whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“After I left Bellerelle, I sort of…found myself, I guess. The world opened up and suddenly I saw who I was and…well…who I…”

I should have done this in person. I should have sat her down and held her hand and told her how much she meant to me, and then…who am I kidding? I would still be in the same position, spitting out half sentences. If I want to be able to walk down the street with Dean, take him to town events, and kiss him without fear of someone seeing and word getting back, I have to be the one to tell her. Just do it. Rip the plaster off.

“I have started to date someone.”

“Oh. Pres. That’s wonderful.”

“It’s Dean.”

I count the seconds that pass in silence. One. Two. Three.

“Beaker?” she asks, her tone not dissimilar to her joy a moment before.

“Yeah. We…umm, is that okay?” My heart is beating so hard that I’m certain it will burst from my chest like that gross alien did in that movie.

“You can date whoever you want to, Pres. You don’t need my permission. Dean’s a great guy, if you’re happy, that’s all that matters. Wait… Did you think I would have a problem because you were dating a guy?”

“Well, maybe. I mean, I didn’t want you to think that because I’m gay, what we had wasn’t real.”

“Pres.” She chucklesandhearing it has this way of settling my nerves. “I’ve known you were gay for years. Your mother told her friends in the store one day about you still not bringing home a young fella to meet the family.”

“Oh.”

“While we are on the subject of big news, though, I have some of my own.”

“Okay, cool, what’s up?”

“Well, you know how I used to love to paint?”

Isabel loved painting as much as I love animals. She said she couldn’t wait to be inspired by the world. I guess it’s yet another reason it should have clicked back then that something was going on when she suddenly changed her mind. I guess teenage boys aren’t always the most observant.

“Yeah, you were always sketching and painting something. Do you still keep it up?”

“I stopped for ages. You know, after Poppy, but I started back up again a few years ago, and…I’ve been accepted to art school,” she blurts, her smile coming through in her voice.

“That’s amazing, Izz. Congrats.”

“The thing is, though, it’s in Savannah.”

“Wow, that’s going to be a long trek. Will you have to go down every day, or are classes only every other day?”

“They’re every day, but driving down to Savannah and back every day isn’t really…”

“Wait. You’re moving?” I ask, and she sighs.

“It’s the only way I can see it working.”

Poppy has only just come into my life. I can’t lose her now. She can’t keep my child from me twice.

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