Page 67 of Letters to the Lost

“Amazing. More than I could have ever imagined.”

Kissing him softly, I remove myself from his chest even though I’m comfortable. Leading him to the bathroom, I turn on the shower until the steam is covering the bathroom. Taking Tobias’s hand, I lead him into the spray of the water, making sure he's okay. I spend the next thirty minutes washing his hair and body, telling him how amazing he is and how much I love him. I know how vulnerable you make yourself when you give over control, and I know how important the care afterward is, to be reassured. So that’s what I do, letting him wash and praise me too, at his insistence.

We curl up in bed once we are dried off, leaving the clothes, and sleeping naked. My leg hitched up over his hip, my head on his chest as he plays with my hair. The glow-in-the-dark stars glow above me, as we talk until we drift off to sleep.

Chapter 25

To my Chlo,

I forgot about you for the first time today.

I got up and I didn’t immediately think about how I had to get you to school, the grief that normally follows didn’t hit me like it normally does either. I woke up happy and it wasn’t until I was in bed, Bun laid beside me that I realized I had forgotten you.

I feel guilty.

You should always be remembered but my therapist says it’s normal. Normal to forget someone who you’ve lost, but I can’t shake this horrible feeling that I’m letting you down again.

The guys have been great. You'd love all the presents they’ve bought for me lately.

We’re all apologizing to one another for the secrets from before. I've been making my cookies for them, the same ones you loved so much.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make your favorite ones though, not for a long time.

Rainbow chocolate will only ever be yours.

The guys have bought me so much, but they’ve also picked me some flowers. Like we used to.

I don’t know who they are from, but they sit in a small glass on my nightstand where I can look at them.

They brighten everything up.

Like you used to.

I still miss you, Chlo. Even when I forget you for a little while, I don’t think I will ever forget you fully.

I love you,

Forever

Mama

X

Chapter 26

Zander

‘No Mercy – Austin Giorgio’

“It’s time for my apology Princess,” I announce as I approach her outside. Autumn sits on the chairs by the pool, her eyes fixated on the tree line in the distance.

“You have all done enough. I don’t need any more apologies, the gifts were enough,” she tells me as she finally looks at me, her soft hazel eyes lighting up with happiness as she looks at me.

“We like spoiling our girl. Plus, I haven’t actually given you any gifts yet, but this is only the beginning,” I tell her as I kiss her quickly, desperate to get my apology started.

“You haven’t?” Autumn questions with a small frown, her eyebrows furrowed, “I thought you had sent me the flowers.”

“Nope. Maybe it was one of the others?”

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