Page 26 of Fighting Shadows

Squinting through bleary eyes, I realize I have multiple messages from the guys, all asking for an update.

How do I tell them I have nothing?

The most I found was the cashier at the gas station seeing Charlie, but no sight of our girl.

Calling them, I move around the room, gather my things, and get ready to head back out on the hunt for her.

“Anything?” Atlas barks down the phone at me, his voice practically void of emotion as he tries to demand answers.

Answers I don’t have.

“I’m working on it. He’s practically a ghost,” I mutter, zipping up my bag and hauling it over my shoulder.

I’m ready to get back out there and try to be helpful in the search for her while the others do what they can from home.

“Sebastian found a lead. His car was seen crossing into Utah and driving towardsArches National Park,” he tells me.

“The fuck is he doing traveling that far?” I question, but I already know the answer. He wants her as far from us as possible to keep her for himself.

I won’t let it happen, though. I’m going to find her, and I won’t stop until I do.

Five days…

I follow the trail that Sebastian sends me on and decide I can’t drive anymore tonight. I pull the SUV into yet another shitty motel, ready for another night of shit sleep, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I need to follow the trail he’s set out for us, the stupid bastard, and I’m not going home without her.

The bell to the reception rings as I open the door, the place deserted as I look for the person I need to check into a room.

“Hello?” I call out.

“One second!” A woman’s voice calls back. Not even a moment later, a middle-aged woman appears from the side door, a cigarette hanging from her mouth, “how can I help you?”

“I need a room for the night.”

“That’ll be 35 dollars. I’ll need an ID and a credit card,” she tells me, her hand already out palm up, waiting. Thanking her once she hands over the key to room 12, I waste no time and make my way straight there. Desperate for a shower, even if it’s lukewarm at best, and then a few hours of sleep.

The exhaustion from driving so much is taking a lot out of me, but I’m not giving up. It seems like the only thought I have nowadays is that I’m not going home until I find her. It’s not like anything is waiting for me back there without her. I know I have my brothers, but if we lose her, then being around them will be torture. All the memories of us together, how we forged a bond like no other with her as our center.

We’d be broken without her.

Seven days…

A week since we last saw her.

The only glimpse we get now is the quick sightings of her on surveillance cameras.

We’re all going mad without her.

Atlas has gone quiet. Sebastian tells me that he can hear him crying at night when he thinks everyone is asleep. It sounds like someone is ripping his heart out, and maybe that’s precisely what it is. My heart hurts just as much without her, but I have a purpose right now, something that can distract me from the thing that aches in my chest as I search for her. He only has his thoughts as he sits around on standby, listening to Kelvin’s orders.

Zander has turned angry; I can hear it in his voice when I call. He hasn’t smashed anything other than Dominic’s face when he offers to fight him to get rid of some of the frustration that’s burning through us all.

Dominic has been lost to his demons, and his efforts in finding Autumn’s past abusers have doubled. We have more dead bodies than we’d like, and none of them are the ones we want right now. His humanity is now gone; any trace of the man he became with our girl being here with us has vanished.

Sebastian sounds weary, his voice becoming less hopeful every time we speak. He also has barely slept, messaging me at all hours of the day with possible locations for me to check out. I had to message Mrs. McKay to coax him to at least try to sleep for a few hours. Otherwise, his mind wouldn’t be able to focus properly on his search.

I’m still determined, but I think that’s because I’m not at home, left to spiral into the dark thoughts that try to plague my mind.

I have nothing left to fight for other than her because, without her, I’m nothing. She was the only person I ever showed the scars that mar my back to, and she made me feel accepted and loved despite it all.

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