Page 47 of Fighting Shadows

Instead, she ripped you from me, and now I’m navigating new fears that aren’t about you, and that’s just as scary.

Waking up in the hospital again and having no idea how I got here was terrifying. For a moment, I was transported back to that blue bedroom where you died in my arms, and I wished to die with you.

Now I have to navigate these new feelings of being hurt by someone I love, betrayed by someone I see as a best friend, and knowing I was taken by Charlie and not being able to remember anything.

I’m confused, and all I can think about is how it was easier before with Mom.

Familiar.

It hurt, but it was a hurt I was accustomed to.

This new hurt makes my chest ache and my eyes sting, and I don’t like it.

I wanted to die when I found out about everything that was done to me, but I couldn’t do it to the others. Putting them through the same pain, I feel now. I don’t have you because I don’t want to cope with it. I couldn’t, and there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to anymore.

I want to be happy, Chlo, just once. I want to experience true happiness.

I love you forever, Chlo,

Love

Mama

X

Chapter 24

Dominic

I’ve not taken my eyes off her since we left the hospital. The car is cramped, with everyone demanding to join, and my new best friend and his brother are following in the car behind us with Sebastian and Brenn.

Aidan insisted on making sure she got home okay and promised to have his men follow as a precaution.

Befriending the brother to the Irish mafia has some benefits, even if he’s reluctant to give in. He’ll come round with time, I’m sure of it.

Autumn’s hand twitches in mine, her eyelids fluttering as she sleeps. Her head has flopped onto Atlas’s shoulder, a little bit of drool now staining his top, but he doesn’t seem to care if the soft smile he’s sporting as he stares down at her is anything to go by.

She was only in the hospital for another day, thankfully, but she was only released with the promise of having Doc visit twice aday to check on her and make sure the sepsis that had begun to shut down her body was under control.

I hate it.

I hate that she’s been hurt yet again at the hands of a monster, and I still don’t have the person responsible in front of me.

I need to make him hurt, to bleed for everything he’s done to her.

“Are we still going to Kathleens?” I ask, restlessness scratching at my skin.

Part of me wishes I had taken my bike, but then I wouldn’t have my Cupcake next to me, and after being away from her for fourteen days, I don’t think she’ll get much personal space from me or the others.

“Yeah. Does she know to expect us, or is this a surprise for everyone?” Zander asks, his hands tightening around the steering wheel to stop the tremors that I can see going through his body.

He’s been a mess since Autumn went missing, his mental health spiraling into the darkness as we all lost ourselves. Now, he has panic attacks daily.

He thinks he’s hiding them well, that only Sebastian knows about them, but we’ve all seen it. The way his chest rises and falls in sharp breaths, his pupils blown wide, the black almost taking over. The way he constantly clenches and unclenches his fists when he feels one coming on.

“She knows. I asked her to keep it a secret from Chase in case Autumn didn’t feel up to the drive and needed to go home. I didn’t want to disappoint him.”

Zander lets out a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing. " That's Good. I didn’t want to throw all of us on her and then the other two tagalongs.”

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