Page 53 of Madness

“Red.” Bander grunts, his one eye piercing into the side of my face, “What did she say?”

I slowly turn my head, hating that he’s making me say it out loud when I know he’s probably seen the videos on Jameson’s little cameras, but I understand why he’s doing it – why he’s making me talk about it.

I have never done well with keeping things on the inside… It’s how she managed to get me locked up here.

“She made me an offer… again.”

“I’ll fucking kill her,” he grunts, pulling me into his chest, “Just fucking tell me I can, and I’ll make sure she never sees it coming.”

“You can’t!” I exclaim, “They’d find out, and I’d lose you forever. I can’t lose you.”

“Is there a way we can keep her away?” Desmond strokes his hand up and down my arm, a soothing gesture, but I shiver from the contact.

“No. She’s about to inherit Wonderland. She has too much control, and I’m scared that once she does that, I’ll be gone.” I voice my biggest fear.

After years of being my sister’s plaything when she wants to play crazy doctor, I know my time is coming to an end.

The sand glass is nearly empty, and when it’s done, I’m gone – forever.

“We won’t let that happen.” Both men voice at the same time.

“She washed away my mural,” I sniff, “The abyss is there, lingering at the back of my mind, wanting to drag me down.”

“Oh, Atropa. Isn’t that what Wonderland does? It’s not a magical other world with talking animals and dragons we can slay. This is the real world, and we are just a speck of dust in a mystical universe that no one has ever quitefigured out,” Bander squeezes my hand, “I will hold your hand and your heart while we confront the abyss and laugh into it.”

“Cridhe. Wonderland is yours – you are its queen, and everything else is an illusion. You are strong, stronger than anyone else in these fucked up walls, and we will help you navigate the labyrinth of your mind and face the shadows that want to convince you to leave us together.” Desmond’s hand is like a brand on my skin as his words sink in.

He's right.

I’ve roamed the halls of Wonderland since I was a child, and I saw the magic in this place as I made friends with people who would have been shunned in the outside world.

The only person here who can hurt me is White, but I can’t give in to heroffer– I won’t do that to any of the men who have claimed my heart, whether they reciprocate it or not.

We sit in silence for a moment; the anger radiating from Bander lingers in the air, but I let him have it. He needs something other than me and his plants to keep him going while in solitary… and what’s better than a little murderous thoughts?

“We need to go to therapy,” I say, breaking myself from their relaxed grips and making my way into the ensuite.

“Shit. I hope Dusty is ok. I left him with Al.” Desmond gets up from the floor and joins me in the bathroom.

He reaches into the shower, turns the dial to scalding, and starts to strip off.

“He’ll be fine. Al’s a good guy. He’s just struggling right now.”

“I think White is messing with his meds,” Bander says, leaning against the doorway, “She was awfully interested in who his mum was.”

“Who?” I ask.

“Alice.”

“No, who is his mum? I know he is Alice.”

“No. He is Al, his mum is Alice.”

“Surely not. He was sent here for killing Alice, was he not?”

“He was. He killed Alice.”

“Nah. Al doesn’t seem like he could do that. He can barely speak to us without talking to himself. I reckon if he did do it, it’s self-defence.” Desmond argues, interrupting our back and forth.

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