Page 55 of Madness

“What a fucked up tea party,” Harry says, laughing at his joke with Doris, who lazily sleeps on his shoulder.

It doesn’t take long for the tea to take effect, and we are all more loose-lipped now that it’s in our system.

These sessions are always the worst, but it’s mandatory, and we don’t have therapy tomorrow because of it, so it’s a win in my mind.

A guard steps into the room, standing by the door.

“Guard, card, card, card,” Al mutters, his entire body twitching as he stares at the impassive-looking guard.

Abe claps his hands, gaining our attention, “Who are you?”

“I’m Red.”

“Harry.”

“Al.”

“Desmond.”

“Dusty.”

“No…” Abe sighs, “Whoare you?”

“Haven’t we already answered this question?” Al questions.

“Yes, but the answer is always changing, is it not? So, who are you, Al?”

Al taps his foot restlessly against the floor as he thinks, “I am Al. Everyone thinks I am thee Alice, but I have no idea who that is, so I feel confused and like everything is upside down, or is it me who is upside down?”

“And what about the rest of you?”

“I feel like I’m always running but never arriving anywhere. Like I need to be on time, but no matter what time I leave to get there, the clock goes into fast forward, and I never manage to be there on time,” Dusty muses, tapping his finger rhythmically against his leg in time with the watch on his wrist.

Desmond smiles almost unnaturally, all his teeth showing as his lips curve up his face. “I’m here, but I’m not,” he laughs. His playing cards appear in his hand and then disappear.

Harry clears his throat, and I let my eyes roam over him as he looks anywhere but at me. His hair is a bit messier than usual today, and it seems like it needs a trim, but the hat he always insists on wearing hides most of the unruliness. He pushes his glasses back up his face and smilesdown at Doris, “Who’s ti say what wi are?” he chuckles, “Perhaps the only truly sane ones are those who dare to see the world differently, and the ones who are outside of these walls are the ones who are truly mad.”

“Fascinating,” Abe mutters, scribbling our answers down on a notepad, “And you Red? Who are you other than the queen of the hearts of Wonderland?”

“Is it so wrong to want love?” I say, though my voice is harsher than I intend for it to be, “Why should I not know what it feels like to be loved when I have been abandoned here by the very people who should love me the most? I’ve already lost everything. Why should I lose more because my sister demands it.”

“Your sister means well, Red. She loves you and is concerned about you,” Abe says, and I growl in response.

“She plays the part of the caring queen, alright.Poor Nurse White, who only wants what’s best for everyone. Always right, always in charge whilst I’m lost in this fucked up world left behind by everyone who should give a shit. She’s a monster, and what she did to Hare should have had her in prison, not working here, making us all her personal little pets.”

“I think you need to calm down. Saying things like that here can have you in solitary,” Abe says nervously, glancing at the guard and then the cameras in the corner of the room.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to end up there anyway.”

I shove up from my chair, storming past the guard who moves out of my way as I approach the door and make my way to Jameson’s office.

I don’t knock and barge into his office.

Jameson’s head lifts from the laptop, pushes his chair back, and taps his leg.

I relax into his embrace, and he buries his face into my neck, “What’s wrong, my love?”

“Therapy,” I sigh, “I may or may not have gone on a rant about White.”

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