Page 85 of Madness

Red clicks her nail against the plastic chair, breaking the silence, “Are we going to start anytime soon?”

Abe doesn’t say anything for a moment, taking a pull from his pipe and blowing out a suspiciously blue cloud, “What were the circumstances that found you here?”

Desmond and I exchange a glance; the story of how we were dropped off at Wonderland is something we try not to dwell on – too painful to remember.

Abe looks between us both expectantly, raising a bushy eyebrow.

I clear my throat, breaking the heavy silence, “It’s not something we like to talk about,” I start cautiously, my voice cracking. Desmond nods in agreement, his eyes dark and stormy as memories assault us both.

Abe’s haze sharpens, his interest piqued by our obvious reluctance to share. “It is precisely why you are here, isn’t it?” he prods firmly.

Desmond shifts uncomfortably in his seat, “Maybe it’s time we faced it.”

Taking a deep breath, I look to my brother for strength and let my mind drift back to that day when everything changed for the worse.

“Our parents always wanted a little girl,” I begin, “and when they found out they were having twin boys, they were livid. They left us to ourselves, and we only ever had each other to rely on while they tried for another kid.”

I stop, unable to continue, the words lodging in my throat.

“They had their girl…” Desmond croaks out, “And we were forgotten about. We snuck into the new nursery, wanting to see our baby sister. She was beautiful, but our parents found us in her room, and Dad lost it. He got into Dusty’s face, screaming, which made the baby start screaming, too, and I couldn’t take it anymore. It was always me and Dus against the world, and I pushed him… hard.”

“So you attacked him?” Abe says, pointing his pipe at Desmond, and I growl in response.

“He didn’t do it on purpose! My dad had his belt in his hand, ready to strike me like he always did, and Des defended me!” I shout.

“They paid to put us here; we were never admitted because of the reasons listed on your stupid piece of paper,” Des nods his head at the clipboard, crossing his arms over his chest.

“He was just trying to protect me,” I add, my voice trembling, “Dad was always so angry, so quick to lash out, and Desmond was the only one who ever stood up to him. Mum never did.”

Abe lowers his pipe, his expression softening for the first time since we started therapy. “It must have been hard growing up in such a volatile environment.”

My eyes well up, “It was. But Des… he was my hero. He took the brunt of Dad’s anger so many times to keep mesafe.”

“Sounds like Desmond played a crucial role in how you both ended up in Wonderland, but it’s important to acknowledge the sacrifices he’s made for you.”

Desmond shifts uncomfortably, “I did what anyone would do for their twin.”

I reach out to my twin, placing my hand on his arm, “You did more than that. You saved me, you continue to save me, and I don’t know what I would ever do without you.”

Abe sits, leaning forward, and takes another pull from his pipe, the smoke travelling up to the ceiling and seeming to curl around him, “You both have been through a lot, and it’s amazing that you both have managed to stay strong and not lose yourselves to Wonderland.”

Desmond finally lifts his eyes to look at us all, “I just want our sister to be safe. It’s all I think about now.”

Abe smiles warmly, “How about we find a good place to start with healing those feelings? It often begins with the desire to see the people we love happy.”

Abe looks to Harry next, eyeing the frizzy ginger hair sticking from the hat he always seems to wear.

“And you?”

“A speak tae animals, and mi parents thought a needed tae git professional ‘help,’” he says, but Abe raises an eyebrow, urging him to continue.

Harry sighs, “When a wis ten, my brother took his own life. He wis battling terminal cancer that had spread throughout his body, and he didnae want oor parents tae pressure him into pursuing treatment. So…” he hesitates, swallowing thickly, “he hung himself, and a was the one who found him.”

“I’m so sorry Harry. That must have been incredibly difficult for you. What was his name?” Abe asks softly.

Harry’s eyes glisten with unshed tears, “Um…” Red reaches across, holding his hand, and nods her head, urging him to continue, “It was Thatcher.”

Red’s sharp intake of breath has understanding dawning on all of us, “And how quickly after Thatcher’s death did you start talking to animals?”

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