Page 89 of Madness

I close my eyes, trying to drown out the noise, “I’m mad… I’m utterly mad.”

“Mad, mad, mad.”She chants, her voice a twisted lullaby, like Alice used to sing.

Chesh’s eyes twinkle, his floating tail swishing back and forth, “You are more than madness, Alice. You are thelegacyof Wonderland. Embrace this so-called madness, listen to what you are trying to tell yourself, and perhaps you will find your way.”

“And if I refuse?”

“Then you will be left here. Lost and forgotten just like the others in Wonderland.”

“Lost, lost, lost!”

Chesh begins to fade, his parting words a whisper that seems to still the air in the room, “The key is within you, Alice. Find it, and you will find your way to escape.”

Left alone with the two voices in my head and the infernal ticking of the ticking that doesn’t exist, I try to bring myself back from the edge, but it’s no use.

I can feel my mind fracturing, and no matter how hard I cling to the last edge of sanity, I can see no way out.

“Tick, tick, tick,”Queenie mocks, and I sigh, tired of the noise.

I’ve not known quiet for years, if not for the voices in my head – it was Alice screaming out nonsense as she drew the nonsensical map on the living room wall.

Her face appears before me again, twisted and decaying.“Follow the white rabbit, Alice.”Shewhispers, her eyes wild and unblinking though her mouth does not move,“He knows the way out.”

The white rabbit… the elusive escape.

I chuckle darkly at the memories of her ramblings.

Silly Alice, the only white rabbit in Wonderland, is Thatcher, and he’s just a rabbit.

In this place, there are no rabbits, only endless corridors and locked doors where the shadows reach for you in the night.

It’s a maze… a trap as they make your mind spiral until you are crazy… bonkers… utterly fucking mad.

The only bright light in this place is Red; the others a glow around her that helps keep me a little bit sane as we all come together to love her…“To protect her, Alice. Your legacy will protect her. The question is, are you willing to sacrifice yourself to do so?”

I open my mouth, intending to answer, but the door to the room swings open and Abe appears.

His body is still a blue caterpillar, and he crawls into the room, his face clouded by smoke.

“Are you ok, Al?” he asks.

I nod slowly. Queenie and the masculine voice grow louder, fracturing reality and making me lose myself, “I think so.”

Abe takes a long drag from his pipe, the smoke curling around his antennae, “You know, Al…” he blows out the smoke from his mouth, and I cough, “Wonderland is a treacherous place if you donot know how to navigate it. It’s easy to lose oneself in here.”

I glance around my room down in solitary; the walls seem to pulse and move as if they are alive, “I just want to know what is real.”

Abe chuckles, “Real or not real? None of that really exists down here in Wonderland.”

As he speaks, the room seems to shift, the floor turning into a sprawling chessboard just like the one in Jameson’s office. The black and white squares appear to stretch endlessly.

“Focus on the pieces you can move,” Abe says, “Some knights, some pawns. But don’t forget the most important part…”

“The king?”

He shakes his head, “The queen Al. The queen is the one who protects the king… but who protects her?”

“Nobody protects her, Alice, apart from the player who does not want to lose the most important piece on the board. Red is your queen, and you must protect her by playing the game.”

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