Page 127 of The Menagerie

“Kind of a… fuck you to him, I guess,” Mal tells him after a minute of semiawkward silence.

Maybe it’s the familiarity of the diner that gives Mal the courage, or maybe it’s the way he’d opened up about his mom, or maybe it’s something he’s been holding back for so long that the dam had to burst atsome point, and Rowan’s the unknowing recipient of it.

“Felt like retribution or some shit… goin’ by my full name at the club. Like he’d have a fuckin’ meltdown if he knew his favorite son was gettin’ railed by a bunch of dudes who all only knew him as Malcolm. Just kinda stuck with it after that.”

Hisfavoriteson. Meaning Mal has brothers at least. The jury is still out on sisters with shitty boyfriends. Rowan wants to ask but doesn’t dare push his lucktoofar. Not when Mal’s actually opening up about himself.

Whatever the case, Rowan chooses his words carefully. “The first time we came here, Sheila kind of implied that he’s a dick.”

Mal snorts, quickly covering it up by chugging the last of his water. “Piece’a shit’s more like it.”

“Mine was the same,” Rowan confides, bolstered by the knowledge that all of their parents were terrible.

“Yours was an abusive racist homophobe?” Mal shoots back, brows flat.

Rowan’s face reddens. “Oh… uh, no. Just a regular old drunk and liar and thief. Sorry. Sucks.”

“Yeah, well…. He croaked a few years back. Rest in fuckin’ pieces.”

He knows deadbeat dads aren’t exactly a rarity, but the fact that Mal seems to share the same sentiment about his dad as Rowan does about his own is weirdly comforting.

“You ever actually tell him?”

“What, that I was willingly gettin’ gangbanged on the regular?” Mal’s eyebrows practically hit the ceiling. “Fuck no, man. Homophobe or not, that’s the kinda shit you don’t tell your parents.”

“Jesus, obviously not.” Rowan shudders at the thought, but in reality, he thinks both his parents wouldn’t bat an eye if he told them about any of his sexual exploits. “I meant that you’re gay.”

Mal sniffs and looks to the side, avoidant. But “Yeah.”

When he doesn’t add anything more to it, Rowan hedges, “Didn’t go well, I’m guessing?”

“Fuckin’ understatement….”

Again, Rowan thinks he isn’t going to keep talking on his own, but he’s not sure if this is something he should let lie, or if he should let his curiosity win out and push for more detail. But even if he doesn’t share anything else, Rowan can piece the picture together himself. Homophobic, violent dad finds out his favorite son is gay? Pretty much a recipe for some bad shit. He’s thankful that even for how shitty his own parents were in their own ways, they never made him feel ashamed of who he is.

Shockingly, Maldoescontinue, after a long bout of silence. “Beat the shit outta me for it. Was fuckin’… seventeen maybe? Told me before I became aman, I had to come on afag-bashingrun. Like it was a fuckin’ normal family tradition.”

“What, just pick any gay guy you see and beat him up?”

Mal pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Some new family moved in, couple blocks from us. Larry somehow found out the kid was gay, or he prob’ly fuckin’ assumed he was for whatever reason. Couldn’t’a been more than, like,fourteenfor fuck’s sake. Told him I wouldn’t do it, and he called me a pussy and demanded to know why.”

“Shit,” Rowan says, stunned. “A fuckin’kid?”

“Yeah. I fuckin’… lost it. Told him he was a fuckin’ psycho and that if he wanted to bash a fag so bad, he’d have to start with me.”

Rowan’s eyes widen, quickly followed by a rush of sadness, pride, and fear mixed all together in an ugly cocktail that makes Rowan’s stomach lurch.

“Jesus.”

“Mmm. Got a few good ones in on him at least.”

At least.As if a few punches were worth whatever hell Larry put him through both before and after Mal’s confession. Even though he’s still practically a fuckingstranger, that instinct to want to protect him—even retroactively—surges up and makes Rowan’s fingers shake.

“I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Mal.”

Mal simply rolls his eyes, but not unkindly. “It’s fine, Dr. Phil. Was a long time ago, and I’ve already been to therapy and shit for it. ’M good.”

The therapy comment surprises Rowan, but pleasantly so. When he thinks about it for a moment longer, though, it makes sense. Mal seems remarkably levelheaded in the way that only working through your childhood traumas with a professional can achieve.

---