Page 150 of The Menagerie

Mercifully, Sheila’s soft huff of a laugh is nothing but kind. “No need to get embarrassed, honey. I’m old, not dead.”

“Sorry. I know, just… not something I make a habit of shouting off the rooftops, y’know?”

Her response is an affirmative hum.

“So you’ve been sleepin’ with this guy for a few months, developed a friendship, talk every day even if you only see each other once a week—which, keep in mind, hon, is a miracle as you get older, even at your age. And now you caught feelings but don’t know if he did too?”

The bite of omelet that Rowan had shoved in his mouth while she was talking is burning hot, but he manages to swallow with most of his taste buds intact. “That sums it up, yeah.”

“How’s the sex been? Different?”

He wishes he could blame the new wave of redness on the heat of his food.

“Yeah? Kinda…. I mean, I don’t want to call itintimate, but it’s definitely closer to that than it was before. But we don’t….” He shakes his head.She’s heard it all, he reminds himself. And he trusts that she won’t judge him for sounding like an awkward teenager. “We don’t even kiss or anything. Well, we kinda did once, but it was an accident and hasn’t happened since.” He doesn’t bring up theiralmostkiss on the dance floor last night. “So it all still feels a little….”

“Impersonal?”

“Yeah, exactly. And I don’t want to risk losing what we have by trying to make us become more. Especially if he doesn’t want that.”

She nods in understanding. “’Cause if he doesn’t, it’s never gonna be the same between you two.”

Rowan sighs, nodding. He is glad that Sheila gets it, even if it makes the ache in his chest throb at hearing someone else say the words out loud.

“Seems to me like you’re at a crossroads, Rowan. You have to decide if he’s worth pursuing and potentially losing completely. From the looks of it, and don’t take this the wrong way, you look like you’ve been beatin’ yourself up over this for a while now.”

The ketchup he’d doused his omelet with helps soothe the burn of her words, but only barely.

“I feel fucking stupid, is all. For wanting more. But like… I know I’ll be pissed at myself if I don’t try. There’s been all these little moments the past couple months that make me think I’m not way off track here, but I can’t gear myself up to potentially lose him.”

“My opinion? If you’re wonderin’ about it this much, he probably is too.”

Hope surges in Rowan’s chest, dampening the ache.

“You think?”

“There’s gonna be times when these things are completely one-sided, but if there’s been signs that make you think you’ve got a shot, I say trust your gut.” There’s a sparkle in her eye as she points to his plate. “Finish that first, though. You never want to confuse a gut instinct with hunger. Madethatmistake with two ex-husbands.”

Rowan erupts in genuine laughter, the first time he’s done so since Mal’s birthday last night.

“Thanks, Sheila.”

She rips his bill off of her pad and slips it under the lip of his now-empty plate. “Anytime, sweets. I’m not even gonna try to fight you on this anymore,” she adds and laughs, tapping the check.

“I think Hank got enough handouts for the rest of the Campbells combined,” he tells her.

“And Rowan?” Sheila says as he stands to leave.

“Yeah?”

There’s a knowing smile on her face that has Rowan’s stomach doing preemptive somersaults.

“When you’re ready, tell him. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never seen Mal so happy.”

For the umpteenth time this morning, Rowan’s cheeks flame. But this time, he can feel the telltale pitter-patter of butterflies throwing a rave in his belly and a tingle all the way down to his fucking toes. He wishes he weren’t so transparent, but well… who the hell else would he have been talking about?

When he leaves, he tips her extra. Both for the advice and to make up for what Hank did years ago. Not that it means much now, but it makes him feel better.

THREE WEEKShave passed since Mal’s birthday. Since Rowan talked to Sheila. The crisp, cool September air is a welcome relief from the blistering heat outside and the heatinsideMal’s body that stays with him week after week, long after they’ve parted.

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