Page 84 of The Menagerie

“Just—” Mal starts, stopping himself.

TheJust youhangs in the air between them for a long moment. Unspoken, yet palpable.Visceralin a way that has Rowan’s blood rushing in his ears and his belly churning.

“Uh… no.” Mal continues. “Felt weird havin’ you call me Malcolm, so….” He trails off, far quieter than he had been during his long explanation.

“Oh. Cool.”

Cool.Like Rowan’s heart isn’t hammering a mile a minute, thinking about the way Mal had blushed so beautifully when Rowan had called himMalduring their first scene. He tries not to let it get to him. Not to make it so obvious that Rowan knows that Mal thinks of him as different somehow.

Not some random guy,even if in this tiny way.

WHEN THEbus girl comes to take their empty plates, Mal asks her to bring them a slice of key lime pie and the slip. She nods but insists that Sheila said their meal is once again on the house.

Mal grumbles and asks her for a blank order slip, which she rips off from the pad tucked inside her apron and leaves to fetch their pie. He takes out a pen from the front of his messenger bag and quickly scribbles down their orders and the prices from memory, pie included.

“Be back in a sec,” he says, grabbing his wallet and swiftly sliding out of the booth.

Rowan watches him make his way toward Sheila and slap the bill on the counter in front of her, presumably along with some cash. The old woman doesn’t even flinch, simply sighs and continues filling the pastry display with muffins and scones. Rowan can’t hear their conversation, but he sees Mal plant both hands on the counter and dip his head forward as if exasperated. Eventually Sheila seems to relent, punching their order into the register and taking Mal’s money.

Rowan’sdyingto know what the story is there, but his wandering thoughts are halted when the bus girl places a delicious-looking slice of key lime pie and two forks on their table.

Rowan thanks her, waiting for Mal before he digs in. He paid for it after all. The least he can do is wait for him. It’s easily more restraint than he’s had to display all night, remembering how good the apple pie was last week.

When Mal returns, Rowan gives him a questioning look, but the other man shrugs it off with a shake of his head.

AS THEYwork through their dessert, they make light conversation. When prompted, Rowan tells Mal about all five of his siblings in turn, highlighting their best qualities rather than dragging them to a stranger. In turn, Mal tells him about his job and that he’d gotten his associate’s degree in bookkeeping when he was in his mid-twenties, something he casually mentions no one in his family had done before.

Small things. Normal things. Nothing nearly as heavy as the subjects they’d broached earlier, but still Rowan has to fight to keep the smile off his face.

When they finally part ways in the parking lot of the club half an hour later, Rowan’s jaw and cheeks ache from the effort.

Tonight felt good. Tonight felt likeprogressin cracking that titanium shell that Mal has around everything that’s not strictly related to physical pleasure. Rowan only hopes that things keep going this well.

Chapter 6: Mistakes and Promises

ROWAN’S NEXTtwo scenes with Mal go as well as their first two. They use the cuffs both times, Mal jigsawing into near impossible positions that get Rowan’s heart thudding and his dick throbbing. They test out the glass dildo that Mal had shown him before their first scene together, which pales in comparison to the silicone beads they’d used the second time, and a set of clover nipple clamps that make Mal keen the loudest he ever has. Rowan had dutifully filed that particular fact away for later use as soon as Mal nearly came from Rowan tugging on the chain connecting his overly sensitive nipples.

It really is amazing that after only four sessions alone with him, he already feels in tune to Mal’s desires. To his body. His reactions. Like the way his thighs shake when he’s on the verge of coming, or the way he bites his bottom lip when Rowan strokes over the tip of his cock. The way his eyes roll back any time Rowan’s hands ghost over his neck.

He never thought he could be so completely and thoroughly satisfied with a sexual partner. Even in the past with hookups or fuck buddies or the couple of people he’s referred to as hisboyfriend, he’s never felt like this. Just… gratified in every way. And sure, he’s never delved this deep into his sexuality before, so there’s obviously an element of newness that explains some of it, but the rest is solely Mal.

And yeah, there isn’t a romantic connection between the two of them, but there’ssomething. Not a friendship yet, but definitely a kinship, if anyone uses that word anymore. Two boys from the South End who overcame some shit, got out, and now get to live their lives the way they want. At least that’s true for Rowan, and he assumes that’s pretty close to Mal’s story from the snippets he’s told him.

Dirty. Closeted. Abused, probably, in some way or another.

The hallmarks of too many kids in the South End, though many of them wind up on the streets or in jail or six feet under. They don’t make it out like Rowan did. Like Mal did.

Somehow their paths never crossed when they were growing up, but Rowan wonders what it would have been like if they’d known each other. Would they have been rivals? Friends? Fuck buddies? Boyfriends? It makes his head spin thinking about the smallness of the world and about how someone who lived a mile away from him growing up carved out his own path in the world and still somehow wound up at the very same club as him.

He wonders, too, if he’d even have stayed a member of the Menagerie at all if he hadn’t been picked by Mal that first day. Would he have found someone else to spend a few hours with instead? Would he have committed to being someone else’s Dom? Or would he have gone home empty-handed and canceled his membership the next day?

It’s all a little too much to think about. For now, Rowan counts his lucky stars that he gets to have this.

ROWAN FINDShimself looking forward to their diner “dates” almost as much as their actual scenes, because that’s when he learns the most about Mal.

He doesn’t like tomatoes—No fruit should be both sweet and bitter. Shit should be illegal.

He actually enjoys his job as an accountant for some sort of tech company that Rowan doesn’t completely understand—Pay is decent and my bosses are actually smart enough to listen to me when I tell ’em they’re wastin’ money on somethin’.

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