Page 90 of The Menagerie

Not for the first time in his career, Rowan wants to squeeze her shoulder or pull her in for a hug and assure her that it’ll be okay, but it’s not his place. Definitely not in a case like this.

“No problem” is what he says instead, before packing up his kit and heading back to the ambulance with Addison.

ON THEIRdrive back, Addison asks him, “You okay?”

Rowan’s caught by surprise. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Kinda zoned out there for a minute looking at her arm. Seemed like you knew her, maybe.”

Goddammit. He really needs to work on his fucking poker face.

“I don’t know her,” he says. “Just reminded me of someone. I hate those calls.”

Addison accepts his reasoning, and they ride in silence the rest of the way back to the station.

ROWAN DOESN’Thear from Mal at all the next day, a Thursday, which until about a week ago, wouldn’t have been unusual. But he can’t stop thinking about the young woman with the probably-sprained wrist and the same piercing eyes as Mal. Nearly the same tattoo, if in a different location.

It’s definitely not a coincidence, right? Or is his mind so overflowing with thoughts of Mal that he’s started to seep into every aspect of Rowan’s life? Seeing connections where they aren’t? Every shade of brown and gold morphing in Rowan’s brain to fit the shade he’s constantly thinking about? There’s some phenomenon that has to do with that, but Rowan can’t be bothered to look it up.

He wants to text him. Wants to breach their mutual understanding of just-fuckin’, just-sextalk, and ask him how his day was with the hope of finding out if his suspicions are true.

IsAmy his sister? Did Mal pick her up and let her stay with him? Is she still at his home? Did she make it to a doctor? Has this happened before? It seemed like it had, recalling Amy saying,He’ll come get me. He always doeswhen Rowan asked if she had a way of getting to her brother.

He doesn’t text Mal.

Instead he goes for a run, each step pounded into the pavement tamping down all the questions rattling around in his head.

ON FRIDAYnight, Rowan receives a text from Mal. His stomach drops, thinking he’s going to be canceling their session for some reason, but is relieved to see that isn’t the case.

[MS]wanna switch things up a bit tomorrow if you’re cool with it

[RC]Sure, what do you have in mind?

[MS]want to try out more praise this time. been great with the meanness but not feeling it for tomorrow

The past few weeks, Rowan’s been gaining more confidence in his ability to be a mean Dom—and his enjoyment of it—but this is something new. And honestly it’s not like it’s gonna be all that difficult, he doesn’t think. Getting to tell Mal how good he’s being for himoutsideof aftercare? Yeah, that shit’s gonna be a breeze. Rowan practically has to bite his tongue during their sessions to keep himself from blurting that stuff out and ruining the mood.

[RC]Yeah definitely

But it can’t have been a spur-of-the-moment decision that Mal wanted this now. He’s told Rowan before that he’d only ask for it when he was in a certain headspace, and Rowan wonders if it has anything to do with Amy—if theyarerelated, after all.

[RC]Any reason why?

It takes Mal a long few minutes to respond.

[MS]just some shit goin on

[RC]You wanna talk about it? Either now or during our scene tomorrow?

Rowan had read that some subs like working through shitty days during their scene. But Mal’s answer comes immediately.

[MS]no

Right. Too personal. Just fuckin’. Rowan gets it.

[RC]K

[MS]wanna try out some edging too