Page 37 of Mob Princess

“What have I done?” I whispered.

I sobbed quietly as I curled my knees up to my chest. All I wanted was to feel close to the man I’d fallen in love with. And in return, my actions had only shown him that I’d betray him. Instead of seeing the good my actions had done, all he focused on was the fact that I disobeyed him like some petulant child.

It hurt like hell to know Israel still didn’t think he could trust me.

“What do I do, Mom?” I choked out the words in between my muffled sobs as I squeezed my eyes closed. “I need help. Please. I don’t have anyone else,”

I waited for her to answer me. I waited for the heavens to open up and finally have mercy on my soul. But the answer never came. I didn’t hear her voice, or see her face, or witness the clouds parting to bestow upon me any sort of mercy. I felt my tears fall to the floor, pooling against my cheek. And as much as I wanted to move, I couldn’t.

So, I stayed there. In the silence of the penthouse. With the sun slowly setting over the city and my robe firmly closed, just like my husband wanted.

He’s not really your husband, Bonnie. Stop thinking of him like that.

“I won’t do this anymore,” I murmured.

I pulled myself off the floor and stumbled against the wall. I used the wall to prop myself up as I made my way down the hallway. I found my way to the first door on the right and threw it open, finding myself face to face with the first guest bedroom down here.

And as I stumbled inside, I closed the door behind me. I locked it, just to make sure Israel couldn't slip in after I had fallen asleep.

Then, I poured my body into bed and cried myself to sleep.