Page 1 of Pain and Pleasure

1

Esmeralda

I'm staringdown the barrel of a gun right outside my apartment door and all I can think of is this birthday party I had when I was eleven.

My best friend Ricky and his parents helped plan it for me, while my mother was busy going on one of her many benders. I remember telling Ricky that year that I wanted a pink cake with sprinkles. The kind that looked like the one off the birthday episode of Barney that we watched when we were little.

They all surprised me with that party. They invited all of my friends from school, they got me a pinata, and his mom made the birthday cake I wanted completely from scratch. Everything was entirely perfect. Yet I remember when it was time to blow out my candles, I had one wish that was different from all the other years. I didn't wish for any presents, or even for my mom to sober up. I wished for my absent father. For the man that I never knew of. For the mystery guy who was nothing but an immature illusion in my mind my entire life.

I say it was definitely an illusion, and I was definitely immature for wishing that because the barrel of the gun that I'm staring into belongs to him. He looks different than in the photos I’ve seen of him, angrier somehow. His hatred radiates off him in waves and shakes me down to my core. I’m frozen like this, standing with wide eyes and sweaty palms, keeping my mouth shut like he asked.

Though, I expect myself to be a little more terrified than I actually am. Maybe the tumultuous relationship I’ve had with Dante was actually nothing but a prelude to this, a trial run for my fate in regard to this monster before me. This monster who made me.

His eyes are so dark that they are pretty much black. He looks fatter than he did in the pictures I found of him in Dante’s office a couple of weeks back, his belly protruding in his tucked in button up shirt, hanging over his belted suit pants. He wears a gold watch that has several diamonds lining the face and he smells of cologne and cigarettes. He has black hair that’s balding and a thick, black mustache that lines the top of his lips. It doesn’t do anything to hide the sinister smile that he has for me.

“I’ve been watching you for a long time, Esmeralda, but I think we both knew that, right?”

His voice is low and laced with a thick accent. I hate the way he says my name. I let Dante say my full name so much because it sounded great coming from his lips. When it came from my father’s mouth, it made me want to retch. I hold my tongue for a little longer, gauging his expectation for me to speak. He gives me a slow nod, initiating the okay for me to respond.

“I’ve been looking for you my entire life, Juan Carlos. Why show up here instead of my birthday parties?” I give him a small smile, trying to both call his bluff and mediate the situation. His gun is still pointed at my face after all. He laughs slowly at my comment, it holds no humor in it at all.

“I’m not one for cake and immature festivities, little girl. I think our first meeting was always meant to be private.” The barrel of the gun seems to grow larger, probably because it’s all I can stare at.

I’ve lived on this earth for twenty-one years and this is my demise, my end-all. The reason for my leaving will be because of my father, not my mother. Which would surprise me if I had known this a month ago, but it does nothing to me now. Though I have a little bit of fear residing in the pit of my stomach, my exhaustion from this new life takes over all else.

Just get it over with already.

“What do you want,Dad?”

* * *

Dante

“What do you mean you fucking lost her? She lives twenty feet away from the parking lot, how could you possibly let her out of your sight?” My voice is angry, as it should be. I’ve been in my car and on the phone with Sergio for under five minutes and I feel like my head is going to explode with frustration.

He had one fucking job.

“I had to keep a view of the lot, boss. Andrew hadn’t shown up yet.”

Since when did he give bullshit excuses?

“So why would you let her out of the car?” Silence echoes from the line.

“She’s impeding on our mission, Dante. The girl is a liability and none of our concern. Our main concern should be him and him alone.”

If I could punch him in the jaw right now, I would. He’s not wrong, but he’s also not right. Esmeralda is nothing but an imposition when it comes to my vengeance for my father, when it comes to my overwhelming desire to kill her father in cold blood. She’s also an interest for both him and me. She’s common ground, and even though I’ve wanted nothing more than to use her as leverage, I want to protect her above all else.

I also want to fuck her until dawn breaks and her voice is hoarse from screaming my name repeatedly.

“Regardless of what you think, she’s his daughter. She’s a link that can’t go missing and I’ve had her in my grasp for a fucking reason until you let your judgement get in the way of your duties.”

He was silent for a while. My GPS lets me know that I’ll be there in forty minutes at the rate at which I am speeding down the freeway.

“I need you to call back up and do a full perimeter sweep. You said she wasn’t in the apartment and her friend hasn’t seen her, so tear the fucking campus apart until you find her. Nobody goes home until she is home.”

“You got it, sir.” His voice is low. I know he is biting back more than what he is saying, but I could honestly give a fuck less.

“And Sergio?”

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