Page 43 of Pain and Pleasure

"Who says we love each other?" I ask him and he rolls his eyes at me.

"Says the both of you every time you're near each other," he explains, and I can't help but smile.

"Are you being safe, Emmie?" he asks, his voice suddenly serious as he eyes me.

I know he's talking about my heart and not about using protection.

"As safe as I can, given the current situation," I say, and he quirks a perfectly manicured eyebrow at me.

"And what's the current situation?" he asks as he leans back in the armchair.

"The current situation being that I'm in love with the leader of a drug cartel," I say.

Ricky stares at me in silence for a few moments, looking worried for me but also looking empathetic. No matter what, this man supports me and he knows that somehow, we're in this fucked up situation together, so we may as well make the most of it.

"I know he's terrifying, but I will castrate him if he ever hurts you," he says suddenly and I laugh.

"I'll be sure to let him know," I say as I finish typing on my computer.

I finalized the event I had planned and send an email over to Dante, waiting for his approval. I'm trying to appeal to more of the college kids in the area by offering a ladies’ night. I've noticed that Dante hasn't really run any specials in this club, and this will be something to not only drive more revenue, but also appeal to me.

It appeals to me even more because I've created it. Ricky sits in silence as I finish up the work on my computer. I pull out my flash drive and tuck it into my purse before going to log off from my email.

"So, I was offered a position in New York after I graduate," he says and I freeze, my fingers hovering over the keyboard.

I turn to look at him, trying to look excited but failing miserably. I've never been more than fifty miles from Ricky and New York is the furthest thing from us.

"By who?" I ask.

He's smiling and I'm trying my best to be happy for him. He's worked at this his whole life. It’s his dream and it's finally coming true.

"Marianne is opening up a store there. She wants me in charge of it while she oversees the new line here in LA." He stares and my stomach drops.

"You don't seem too excited for me…" he says, and I shake my head, smiling and pushing back my own fears as I go to sit by him.

I grab his hands in mine and look at him, pride filling me even though the sadness of his future absence begins to creep in.

"No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be proud of you. I will always want the world for you, Ricky," I say, and he smiles back at me, petting my hair as he leans forward so that our foreheads touch.

Suddenly, I feel like a kid again. Like two outcasts on the playground who just found their better half. I feel like the little girl who is looking into the eyes of her very best friend, her first savior and first ever partner in crime. I look at the man before me now and feel so much pride, that it steals my breath. No matter the heartache that space would cause, I would always love this man through it all. He's my family.

"And I you, baby girl. We always have each other. No matter where, no matter what. Okay?" I nod against his forehead, and we stay like that for a minute.

We’ve always had to be the ones to grow up quicker than anybody else, but right now I feel like we're growing up at an accelerated pace. Just a month ago I felt like we had all the time in the world, and now I feel as if our time is fleeting. Now I feel the adult world coming in and separating us, and even though our hearts will always know each other, time and space will always come to stand in the way.

"Come on. I know you've been here all day and I want to go home and shower," he says as he stands up, holding out a hand for me as I take it and stand as well.

Benjamin follows us to the elevator and we ride down to the main floor. As we step outside, Benjamin goes to grab the car as a couple guards stand behind us inside, watching us closely. A few minutes pass and Ricky and I suddenly hear some shuffling noises. I turn to look and see, my head peering around the corner of the alleyway beside us. Suddenly, Ricky grabs me.

"Emmie! Do you see it?" he says excitedly, pointing over to the trashcan in the alley way.

I squint my eyes to get a better look and after seconds of staring, I see an orange cat pop out of the trashcan. It lands on the cement with a thump and begins to lick its paws, all the while staring directly at us. Ricky jumps up and down with Glee and I have to roll my eyes at him. He had an orange cat like this that ran away when we were kids and I know immediately what he is thinking.

"Emmie, it's Lasagna!" he exclaims and starts to pull on my arm.

"Ricky, Lasagna ran away when we were ten. No offense, but I highly doubt that he's still alive," I say softly, but he ignores me.

"Cats live for over twenty years and he was just a baby when we got him. At least let's go see if there's a collar on him," he says, but I shake my head.

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