Page 45 of Pain and Pleasure

"It's not safe for you here. Don't put your dream on hold for this. I'm going to be okay-"

"And what about your dream?" he asks, cutting me off.

I look down at our joined hands and sigh, wishing we were kids playing with dolls on his bedroom floor again. Dressing them up and dreaming futures that were once so far away.

"Emmie, I-" he starts to say, but is cut off by a newly approaching and angry Dante.

"Esmeralda!" he shouts and I cringe, my exhaustion stretching from my head to my toes.

Ricky sighs and lets go of my hands, pulling me out of the car with him as Dante rushes to me, his hands searching every part of my body for a bullet hole that does not exist.

"I'm fine," I tell him, but he ignores me.

His hands finally stop traveling my body and he looks at me with frustration. He's so hot and cold, but I don't have the time for it tonight.

"What in the hell were you thinking? My guards turn their heads for one fucking second and you're rushing into an alleyway late at night?" He snarls at me and my lip starts to quiver.

Do not cry.

He keeps berating me and suddenly Ricky snaps at him.

"I'm the reason she went into the alleyway. If I had known what threat she was facing I obviously wouldn't put her in danger like that," he explains.

"But she was still in danger, no matter what you knew. Her life could've ended right before you, but you didn't think about that, did you?" Dante snarls in Ricky's face.

"Stop," I whisper, but nobody hears me.

"Maybe if you weren't such a controlling and secretive bastard, I would've been more aware!" Ricky yells.

They start arguing back and forth, their anger and voices rising by the minute. The tears in my eyes start to gather and pull out from the corners, traveling down my cheeks and wetting my face. I begin to shake with frustration and exhaustion, my fists balling and clenching at my sides. They start to roar at each other and it's all I can take before I snap.

"I said stop, God damnit!" I yell out, stomping away from them and running inside the house.

Tears are pouring from my eyes and blurring my vision, I can barely see the stairs as I climb them to my bedroom. I feel like I have lead sitting in my stomach. I can still feel the chapped, sweaty skin of the man's hand around my lips. I run to my bathroom and I turn the water on, scrubbing my face aggressively, trying to erase both the man's touch and the night's exhaustion away from my skin.

I catch my reflection and notice a large, red handprint marring my skin and it makes me cry harder before bending down and splashing water on my face, my hands rubbing at the mark as if they're trying to scrub it away from existence.

I feel somebody come up behind me and I know by the crackle in the air that it's Dante. I ignore him and continue to scrub at my face, tears still pouring from my eyes. He comes closer and rests a hand on my shoulder, trying to turn me so that I can look at him. I whip around and slap his hand away.

"Don't you touch me! Not if you're just going to scream at me after I've nearly been killed!" I yell, crying ugly, sloppy tears.

He just stares at me, his eyes filled with sadness. He goes for me once more, wiping my tears away with his thumb and I let him. He pulls me into a fierce embrace, and I cry into his shirt for what seems like hours.

"This is why I didn't want you to go, mi ciela. God, I was so worried. I can't lose you. I can't ever lose you," he whispers into my ears and it makes me cry harder.

"I want him dead. I want him to pay for everything. For what he did to my mom, to you. For the peace he's stealing from me. I just want to live my life," I cry, and he strokes my back with his hands.

I pull back and he holds my face, his palms stretched over my cheeks. His thumbs idly wipe the fresh falling tears that pour from my eyes. He kisses my nose and I fall even more in love with him.

"I swear to you, Esmeralda. I'll kill him with my bare hands. I'll tear him apart limb from limb to keep you safe," he vows, and I lean into his touch, quickly erasing the memory of the man's hands on my face.

It's silent for a moment and my tears slow, a few falling now and again, but I sniff them back and open my eyes to look at Dante. He looks so serious and holds so much emotion in his eyes. It makes my heart thump loudly for him. I can't believe I just cried like that in front of him and he held me the entire time. No one but Ricky has ever done that for me.

"I heard you pinned him down by the neck with your stiletto," he says proudly and I smile.

His thumb caresses my lips, tracing them over and over again as he stares admirably at me. God, I love this beautifully complicated man so much that my heart hurts with this love. This achy, all-consuming love.

"I guess the gun training wasn't really necessary?" he asks, and I shake my head at him.

---