Page 6 of Pain and Pleasure

"Terrifying. I was scared too, but they can't hurt me, Ricky. I can't tell you why, but please trust me. Because I'm alive and with you now. It's safer here than out there, for anyone in my life."

He takes in my words for a while, silence stretching except for the tapping of Dante's shoe. I'm surprised he stayed silent for this long. It must be a new record. Ricky takes a deep breath and squeezes my hands before he speaks.

"I just wish your mom could've been like a flower child and just smoked weed. Why did it have to be meth and shit that the Mafia sells?"

Dante scoffs and I try my best to ignore him.

"They're not the Mafia, Ricky. They're diff-"

"Whatever they are, or whateverhedoes, they're fucking loaded. I saw the house. I see the clothes you've been hiding.He's loaded.Which should terrify you enough as is, Em. He's rich enough to cover a murder."

He puts his head in his hands as Dante stands and walks to the window by his desk, staring out with his hands in his pockets. His shoulders are so broad, his stature tall and proud, but I can tell that he's pensive.

"I have no interest in murdering you or her. She is too much of a liability to lose for many reasons, and your death would just complicate things for her. I need her to be comfortable and sharp, not distracted with grief."

Everything he just said almost sounded...caring, but my brain held onto the words when he practically said I couldn't be hurt for more reasons than just his vengeance. I try to tell my brain that's not what he meant, I'm nothing but a pawn, but I couldn't stop myself. Because he turned around and stared at me with eyes the color of fire. They held me for so long that Ricky noticed and cleared his throat.

"So you have us here, you say you won't hurt us, but we're also not safe out there. Which makes me wonder, how long are we supposed to be staying here?"

I am also wondering about this. We both have school and Ricky has his internship for the last semester before he finishes his fashion degree. I can already tell we won't like the answer Dante is about to give because his jaw clenches slightly.

"I will keep you here until the danger she faces outside is no longer present. You'll have your own room and meals for the time being. One of my men brought your school belongings and some clothes, if you need anything else just let Sergio know."

Ricky's mouth practically hits the floor and I already know the feeling that's rushing through his body.

"My internship starts in a week! I'm not jeopardizing schooling because her mom fucked up!"

I try to not let his comment sting, but it does. I'm always an imposition. To everyone in my life. Dante eyes me for a moment, watching my face fall and narrowing his eyes at me. I feel small from his scrutiny and Ricky's outrage. I've felt small since my father pointed a gun at my head this morning, since I've stepped foot into this fucked up underworld.

"You can continue schooling while you're still here. I've arranged to have Esmeralda take online classes and I have someone you can intern with. Someone who has greater connections to all of the designers your teachers wish they had access to."

He adjusts his watch and remains impassive. I know he's referring to Marianne, which is actually the best option for his career. She's the best woman and connection to know, regardless of our screwed-up situation. She can take Ricky very far in life. What I'm pissed about is how once again, my future has been decided for me.

I had no choice in switching my classes, if I can't focus enough, I can jeopardize my entire college degree. I could sacrifice everything I've worked so hard for. Ricky seems perplexed by Dante's words while I am practically seething.

"Is this the woman that provided Emmie's clothes?"

Dante nods and I get angrier because they're talking about me in the third person, as if I'm not sitting right here.

"When can I meet her?" He sounds excited.

Good, glad one of us is.

"I'll have her here Monday to meet with you. If you prove I can trust you, I'll allow you to go to her shop with security."

Ricky can't help but hide his smile when he turns to me. I look at him with blank eyes, my anger wavering with my sadness.

When can I feel excited again?

"I'm still pissed at you for lying to me, but I can tell he's not someone anyone wants to fuck with. Whatever happens Em, we'll get through it together."

He holds my hand in his before getting up and letting one of the guards escort him to his room. It's on the lower level of the house, but not in the same wing as Dante's. He's walking a little too happily for my taste, I can tell it's because of the new and promised internship Dante spoke of. Ricky's dream is fashion and he's never been around designer clothes, just researches and analyzes them. I can't even begin to count how many Met Gala PowerPoints I've had to watch over the years because of him.

It's his dream. Here, in this haunted castle, he gets to live his dream. While I'm stuck practically behind bars.

Dante is silent as he watches me, frozen on his leather couch. I have so many things to say to him, but I don't have it in me to do so. I don't have any more energy after today. It's not like he would listen to me anyways, it's not like anyone even does. I'm nothing but a doll, a puppet in a play I never wanted to be in.

I get up and make my way towards the door, ready for that glass of bourbon and perhaps a bubble bath. I might as well live in hell's luxuries for the time being. A bath and a couple glasses of liquor should numb me just fine before bed. I can see why my mother likes to numb her pain a little now, I can see why she's done a lot of what she's done.

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