Page 89 of Italy Can Bite Me

“Gotcha!” Her victorious laugh bounces off the timeworn stones. “That’s what you get for copping a feel onNo Sex Day.”

“Worth it.” I grab her waist, pulling her close.

“No SexDay, remember?”

“This isn’t sex. It’s… appreciation.”

I crush her lips with mine, and there’s a chorus of awws from the teen girls.

***

“MERCATO!”Katieannounces,surveyingthe chaos of Verona’s outdoor market. “I nailed that pronunciation.”

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning. Watching Katie Crawford attempt Italian is my new favorite form of entertainment.

“If by ‘nailed it’ you mean ‘made every vendor here cringe,’ then yes.Perfetto.”

She zeros in on a stall overflowing with silk scarves. “I am one with themercato. The market and I… we aresimpatico.”

“That’s Spanish.”

She whirls around. “Don’t ruin my vibe. I’m channeling my inner Italian goddess here.”

“Your goddess needs subtitles.”

“Shhh. Watch and learn, tour guide.”

Oh, this is going to be spectacular.

She picks up a tan silk scarf with blue flowers, clearing her throat dramatically. “Bon-joor!”

“Wrong country, principessa. But please continue. This is better than cinema.”

Her nose does that adorable scrunching thing that makes me want to kiss it. “Fine, Mr. Perfect Pronunciation. How do you say scarf?”

“Sciarpa. But clearly you don’t need my help.”

“Skee-arrr-pah,” she says, rolling the R like a purring cat. The scarf vendor blinks, probably wondering if she’s having a stroke.

I nod solemnly. “Flawless pronunciation. Want to try asking the price?”

“Please.” She waves her hand dismissively. “I’ve got this.Quanto costa la…neck thingy with flowers?”

The vendor’s face does some impressive gymnastics trying not to laugh.

“Quanto costa la sciarpa color cammello con fiori celesti?”I say quickly.

“That’s what I said,” she says, then attempts to repeat it. It comes out sounding as if she’s having a sneezing attack while ordering pizza in Dutch.

“Venti euro!”the vendor says.

“Twenty euros! I understood that!” Katie claps her hands, radiant with pride. “I’m an expert now. Quick, teach me to say ‘I speak better Italian than my smug tour guide.’”

“How about we start with thank you first?”

“Relax. I know what I’m doing.” She turns to the vendor with complete confidence.“Gracias!”

“Still Spanish.”

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