Page 23 of Hawaii Can Suck It

“Guess I’m really overachieving today.”

“I will gladly demonstrate,” Kai says. “The secret, my friends, is in the mounting.”

He grabs the leather loops hanging at waist level and launches himself into the contraption like Simone Biles going for gold at the Sex Olympics. His massive body somehow gracefully settles into the seat portion, legs dangling through two stirrup-like loops, while his hands grip the upper straps.

“Balance is everything,” he says, adjusting himself comfortably in the suspended chair.

The hanging chair begins to rock, and his sarong starts fluttering like a curtain in the breeze, about to reveal…

“Code Red!”

I lunge forward, positioning myself between Cam and the impending wardrobe malfunction. In my panicked rush, my right arm swings up, directly through one of the hanging loops. The leather strap immediately tightens around my forearm as I try to pull back.Shit.

“Ohhhh, excellent!” Kai beams. “Partner play! Beautiful! You’re embracing vulnerability!”

“I’m not—this isn’t—” I tug at my trapped arm, which only seems to tighten the strap’s grip. Meanwhile, Kai’s sarong has fully surrendered its duty, and there he is, in all his glory, casually spreading his legs as he swings backward.

“This is the Passionate Pendulum position,” he announces proudly.

WHOOSH!

The momentum carries him back toward me, and suddenly I’m doing an awkward limbo to avoid a face-to-face meeting with his exposed equipment. I bend backward so far my spine cracks.

“Cam!” I shout, twisting to see her behind the camera. “Stop filming and help me!”

She’s trembling with suppressed laughter, camera steady as a rock.

So help me God! I will chew my arm off to escape this.

WHOOSH!

Kai swings away again, eyeing Cam like a thirsty sniper. “Would you like to join us, wahine? The Passionate Pendulum becomes the Triangle of Bliss with three!”

“Pass,” she giggles.

I yank my arm hard, but instead of freeing myself, my elbow catches in another strap. Now I’ve got two limbs ensnared, and my balance shifts precariously. My feet slip on the smooth floor, and suddenly—

“WAIT!” I yelp, but it’s too late.

My feet leave the ground completely. One moment I’m standing, trying to free my arm; the next I’m hanging awkwardly beside Kai, my ass in his face, tilted at a forty-five-degree angle with no way to move.

“Excellent initiative!” Kai beams while his bamboo warrior swings freely between us. “Real intimacy requires submission—I see you surrendering to my dominance. That shows trust. Tell me, Reece, what is your safe word?”

“Nope. Get me down.Cam, tell him!”

She’s absolutely no help, her face now purple with suppressed laughter, hiding her grin behind the camera.

WHOOSH.

And now I’m swaying.

My position adjusts again as Kai reaches over—thankfully using his hand, not another appendage—and pulls a strap near my hip. Instantly, my lower body lifts higher, my legs splaying awkwardly as I forcibly try to keep them closed.

“Feel nature’s rhythm!” Kai says, giving me a powerful push that sends me spinning like a drunk compass needle. My arm is twisted at an angle that human limbs were not designed for, while my legs dangle helplessly.

“This is the Suspended Butterfly!” Kai announces, pulling another strap that shoots my right leg up ninety degrees.

WHOOSH!

---