Page 55 of Hawaii Can Suck It

I need a beer. Or a bottle of tequila. Or a meteor to hit this exact spot.

My eyes track Cam subconsciously at first. As she films, she moves with purpose and natural grace—first getting wide shots of the ambience then shooting close-ups of the ridiculous decorations. The silk canopy is an ivory wave rippling overhead, casting a soft glow that makes her appear… heavenly.

Not that she’s ever anything less than gorgeous—whether she’s rocking a ponytail and cargo pants, weighed down by filming gear, or strutting her stuff like in that killer swimsuit from yesterday. But tonight, she’s next level. That dress is making her look so desirable, I want to sweep her off her feet.

I couldn’t handle Gordon berating me again today—not in front of her. And he would’ve unleashed on her next.

It’smyfault we are bombing these videos. And I will never, ever allow someone else to accept the blame for my mistakes.

I exhale sharply, dragging fingers through my hair. So fucking tired. Not just physically. I’m exhausted from all of it. From performing every second of my goddamn life.

Just… done.

“Yo! What up, my guy! This party is straight fire!”

For fuck’s sake.

Blaze bounces into the chair across from me like an ADHD kangaroo who discovered Red Bull, grinning as if the two of us are still best friends… like he didn’t help torpedo my life forty-eight hours ago.

“What the hell do you want?”

“Yo, checking in, bro. You seem stressed out lately.”

“Ya think?” I lean forward. “Blaze, what the fuck is going on?”

“We’re on vacation at a sex resort. It’s awesome!”

I grip my side of the table as an alternative to strangling him. “I’m really trying to understand here. What the actual fuck is happening with you and Astrid?”

“Bro, I was confused too! But after the wedding, I found her like Gordon said to, and she laid it out. Told me about your guys’ plan to break the internet. Damn, man, you did it!”

“Blaze, there was no plan.”

“Yeah huh! Astrid said it was top secret. Not even Gordon knew. Only you guys.” He leans in, whisper-shouting, “And that I was supposed to pretend to be her new boyfriend.”

I stare at my idiot best friend, wondering if all those years of stunts have scrambled his last remaining brain cell.

I take a breath, my eye twitching. “What else did she say?”

His face scrunches up as if he’s trying to divide by zero. Then, after a solid ten seconds of deep contemplation, he shrugs.

“I can’t remember because then she got naked and ordered me to eat her out, which I did. She kept talking while I was doing it. Some of the stuff she said was like… orders of how I was doing it wrong. Man, apparently I do a lot of stuff wrong. Who knew?”

I grip my temples, massaging slowly. “Alrighty then. I think we’re done here.”

“Wait, let me try to remember better…” He grabs two dinner rolls and starts motorboating them while making slurping sounds. “First she said to go ‘up and down’, but then she was all ‘Circles, Blazey, circles!’” He starts rotating the bread in atrying-to-buff-a-carmotion. “Then she got real specific about tongue pressure.” He drops the yeast rolls and spreads his fingers in a V-shape, his tongue darting between them like a demented windshield wiper.

I slam my forehead onto the table.

Hard.

C’mon, Reece. Knock yourself unconscious, and this will all be over.

Blaze pauses mid-lick, staring at me as if I’m the one with problems. “Oh! And then we got on a plane! And I asked if you were gonna be there…”

He stops, thinking again.

Blaze snaps. “Yeah! Then she told me that I had to act really mad when I saw you.”

---