Page 72 of Hawaii Can Suck It

But here’s the thing they don’t tell you about fame—you never know when you’ve peaked until your ass is sliding down the other side.

Fame fades.

Trends change.

New creators pop up, doing faster, crazier, dumber shit and grabbing the spotlight you thought was yours. You spend all your time trying to stay relevant, hustling and advancing but then forgetting what made you want to climb.

My original fans? They’re all moving on with life. Getting married. Making babies. Building careers. They get to grow, to change, to evolve. Meanwhile, I’m frozen in time like some kind of perpetual frat boy Peter Pan, doing the same shit I did at twenty-one because I’m too terrified to lose what I have.

Losing myself in the billowing sky and seeing the vastness of this beautiful world, I’m floating. My heart can feel what my mind already realizes.My life needs to change.

I just don’t know whatchangelooks like.

Hell, I almost marriedAstrid. Things had gotten so fucked up with the business that I actually convinced myself marrying her was the solution to my declining views. Her ditching me at the altar might be the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to me, but honestly? She did me a favor.How many more years would I have wasted on staged couple smiles and stupid pranks?

Yesterday’s livestream, that rush of not knowing how it would play out? That’s what’s been missing from my life. That spark. That authenticity. Not to mention finally being able to tell Cam how incredible she is. It felt great taking off my asshole armor, being real with her, and telling her how much this channel owes to her talent.

Yesterday, I got to say things I’ve wanted to for years.

But I’m nowhere near done apologizing. The shit I said to her because I couldn’t handle myself wanting her? Grade A dickhead behavior. Premium douchebaggery. The way I made her doubt herself, made her feel as if she wasn’t good enough?

It’s unforgivable.

I was so fucking wrong.

And her self-esteem paid the price.

I was pushing her away, keeping her at a distance, making sure she never got too close. I was too scared to admit she matters to me.How do I make up for years of being King Asshat?

The reality is, I could spend the rest of my life apologizing, and it still won’t be enough.

But I’m going to try.

“Oh crap.” Cam shifts against me. “We’re not filming.”

“Let’s enjoy this one,” I murmur, pulling her closer, needing her warmth like my next breath. She snuggles back against me, and my heart expands, pressing against my ribs as if it’s trying to make room for new emotions I’m not supposed to have.

Because this woman in my arms?

The universe is making it clear—she’s my first step toward whatever’s next.

***

Theshuttledoorhissesopen, pouring us onto a roadside oasis, emerald cliffs and lush greenery towering on all sides. The humid air gives me chills. It’s awe-inspiring. Kai walks by, and instead of some godawful body spray, he smellsexquisite—like pheromones, a double rainbow, karma, and everything good in this world.

Okay, maybe I’m still riding high off that mountaintop.

“If you seek a gentle communion with nature, go this way.” Kai gestures to a path that looks as easy as a shopping mall walkway. “And for those prepared to embrace their wilder side…” He points to a trail marked with a sign featuring a waterfall and skulls and crossbones.

I glance at Cam. “Tourist trap or death wish?”

“You know me—I like it rough.”

The second those words leave her mouth, her cheeks flame.

She partially turns, eyeing the difficult trail, and her eyes light up with the notion of adventure. It’s one of my favorite things about her—how she’s always ready to chase the next thrill, camera in hand.

We quickly peel off our sunrise layers and zip them securely into our backpacks.Time to take on this trail!I’m in my standard Dare4Adventure merch—a blue logo tee with khaki shorts—and Cam…Christ.Those cutoff shorts and a white tank with the wordsDareGirlstretched across her boobs.

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