Page 106 of Toy No More

“I know. I wanted to,” he says, his voice all smooth and buttery. God, I hate how much I love it. What it does to me.

“The doctor complimented my make-up,” I mention as we head out. Without Kobe, I would’ve gotten lost in the convoluted maze of the hospital.

He widens his eyes in an exaggerated excitement. “As he should! You’re nearly a professional, after all. I told you—today is going to be great. You look great, the appointment went great, and you’ll do great on your first day in your new job.”

Smirking, I try to move away when Kobe attacks me with a kiss, but don’t fight him too hard. It’s still a little difficult for me to get used to how disgustingly sweet he’s being. At the beginning of our relationship, Jasper showered me with gifts and praise, but it felt completely different from this. Performative.

Kobe, on the other side, is just…such a cute dork.

“Working at a make-up counter in the mall hardly makes me a professional,” I mutter.

“They gave you the job for a reason,” Kobe keeps arguing against my negative self-talk. “They liked your skill and your portfolio. And you’ll do some proper courses soon enough. So stop doubting yourself.”

A corner of my lip tugs upward. “I can’t believe you let me put make-up on you,” I say, all giddy at the memory. If it weren’t for Marci and Kobe letting me practice on them and showing those pictures at the job interview, I probably wouldn’t have gotten the position.

Kobe lets out a melodic laugh. “I looked stupid. Well, I lookedgood, because you do it so well, but I don’t think I’ll start wearing make-up anytime soon.”

I just stare at him, marveling at that light, soft attitude of his. Would Jasper have ever let me do that? I doubt it. Not even if my life depended on it. Every time I compare him and Kobe, I feel guilty. My chest tightens because of what happened, of what I did, and it hurts because each time I compare Jasper to Kobe, I can’t believe what a fool I was. The things I accepted as normal…

“Hey,” Kobe whispers, snapping me back into reality. His caring brown eyes with that pretty, mossy ring of green fixate on me. We’re almost out of the main entrance and heading for the car park. “What’s with that face, huh?”

“I’m just nervous,” I say with an unsure smile. “I worry I’ll…slip up, or something. Say something wrong. Do something wrong. I’ve never had a normal job.”

Kobe tightens his grip on my hand. “I know.”

“But I’m excited, too,” I add quickly, so that he doesn’t stress about me so much. And it’s true. I am excited. This new beginning feels good.

“You’ll be great at it. Trust me. You’re amazing with people. You just…need to make sure you don’t overplay your hand,” Kobe remarks while sitting down in our car.

With a confused frown, I pause in the door.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask as I sit down in the passenger seat, chuckling nervously.

Kobe purses his lips and flashes me that mischievous glance of his. He’s teasing me. “Ah, you know…you have this aura about you. Certain…flirty, alluring quality that might get misinterpreted,” he says, using that tone that’s half-playful to not offend me, even though he knows he wouldn’t.

I softly smack his arm with a snicker when he goes for the gear stick.

He grins at me before he turns on the engine and focuses on getting us out. “Youknowwhat I mean! You don’t do it on purpose, but the way you talk and move makes everyone think you’re flirting. Like…yeah, like that cashier yesterday! She was basically dripping on her seat by the time you thanked her for the bags and took the receipt from her.”

“She was not!” I blurt out, laughing and playfully poking his shoulder again. “Gross.”

Kobe keeps smirking, creating that cute line running in the middle of his cheek. I can’t see it that well now that he’s growing out his beard, but it suits him, so I don’t complain.

“I guess some old habits are hard to change,” I mutter to myself, sliding down in the seat. I look out to watch the scenery as we drive through the city. Another sunny day. All of them seem to be filled with the sun around here. Sometimes I welcome it, other times the heat is a bit much, but I’m getting used to it.

It doesn’t take long for me to feel Kobe’s hand on my thigh. The first response of my body is tension, but only for a second. Beforehand, with Jasper, this would’ve led only to one thing. With Kobe, his touch is there for support. He touches me only to touch me, softly and tenderly, to show his love, instead of pushing his desires on me.

Half the time, it feels like I don’t deserve him.

The other half, I curse myself for not running away with him sooner. For this kind of love existing out there and me denying it to myself by staying with Jasper out of fear.

“Anyway,” I say, blinking quickly to shake off the negative thoughts. “What about you? Is your back still sore? You don’t have to go to work again today, right?”

“No. Don’t worry, I’m slowly getting used to the physical labor,” Kobe says, sounding light. I’m not sure if it’s only a part of him trying to act tough in front of me, or if he really is more accustomed to the warehouse work. It feels like he’s been working himself too hard these past few weeks. “I’m almost finished with the training for the permit.”

Smiling, I nod when he glances at me. “When we go places, you seem to know your way pretty well now. I can still barely orientate myself. All I know are the directions to the hospital, the shops and the beach.” Getting used to a completely new city on the other side of the country hasn’t been easy, but he’ll be a great taxi driver. “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll pass it easily.”

“I’m excited to be able to set my own hours. It’ll give me more time with Skyler. And you,” he adds, squeezing my thigh.

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