Page 12 of Toy No More

Some things I’ve seen were…barbaric. I don’t want to think about it.

When I get enough courage to glance at him again, he sits there almost like a ghost, motionlessly staring ahead, shoulders lifting faintly.

A part of me wants to reach out, ask him whether he’s okay. But I know better. From what I gathered, this life isn’t new to him. He is the star of the place. Every time I walk through the Dollhouse, he’s surrounded by people. Surely, he doesn’t need my pity.

Still…after pushing my real self down all day, something inevitably slips through. A small kindness I can’t hold back. Don’twantto hold back.

Moving closer to him, I reach my hand out, presenting him with my open pack of cigarettes. He blinks at me in surprise. “Want one? You…look like you could use it,” I say with a faint smile.

Chapter 4

Apollo

Didthismanjusttell me I look like crap?I almost want to feel offended, only if he wasn’t most likely correct. I study his face that bears no sign of any ulterior motives. Actually, he looks a little too honest. Still, I shift my gaze to the cigarettes poking out of the carton, feeling the temptation grow inside me.

It’s been a long while. Jasper hates it when I smoke. He’d smack it out of my hand anytime he’d see me with one, but…he isn’t here right now. And I’ve had a shit night I don’t want to think about.

So, I accept, and pull one out. Thankfully, my hand isn’t as shaky as before. He passes me the lighter and the moment I hear it click and feel the flame against my skin, my body flushes with endorphins at the mere anticipation of the incoming nicotine.

I return his lighter and lean back with a deep sigh.Feels good.

Closing my eyes, I focus on the smoke inside my mouth, swishing it around before puffing it out. The chilly night air stings against my hot face, but it’s getting better. The echoes of all those touches and forceful kisses slowly evaporate, too, though my mind won’t stop racing until after I have a shower. But that could wait this time. I justhadto get out of there.

A sense of discomfort suddenly creeps back, so I quickly open my eyes to find the man looking at me. He flares his nostrils when he notices I caught him and blinks away.

I’m too done today to even have the energy to act nice, so I snort. “What is it?” I ask. Is it that I’m drenched in that alpha’s pheromones? It was like he was trying to make me choke on them, but my mind must have zoned it out after a while. I didn’t realize it’s so bad until now.

He raises his brows and somewhat sheepishly shakes his head. “Oh nothing, it’s just…your scent. It’s pretty unique. It…” he says, mutters more like, before sticking his cigarette back into his mouth, almost as if to shut himself up.

My face contorts into a sour grimace before I can even be amused by his awkwardness.Right. Of course. It’s always this.

With a frown, I look out at the evening sky with not a single star in sight.

Is there even a point of being frustrated that I can never escape this? After all, it’s what makes so many of them seek me out over and over again. It’s always about my pheromones. I’ve lost count of the number of gross, frustrating, touchy men that had called meSugar, or‘their sweet treat’.

No matter what I do, every time another venus meets me, my lovely scent of cinnamon sugar is the first thing they notice. Only to get blinded, infatuated, possessive…like a fly circling a fresh scoop of ice cream.

“It’s sweet and enticing. Yeah, yeah. I don’t need to hear your musings about it,” I grumble quietly. Right away I feel stupid and childish for lashing out at this man I don’t even know, but I’m too tired to put on the mask of decency.

He’s one of Jasper’s goons, after all, isn’t he? I expect a snort or a frustrated grunt, but instead, he slumps his shoulders and looks down like a kicked puppy.

“I wasn’t gonna— I was just gonna say it reminds me of when I was little. My mom used to make me pancakes with cinnamon sugar. It’s a…comforting smell, I guess. Though, you obviously don’t care about that. I get it. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

I stare at him with bated breath.

That’s it?

Blinking sharply, I lick my lips before throwing the finished cigarette down. He tries his best to ignore my gaze, but I study him anyway.

Then, something else hits me. I lean in toward him, sniffing unabashedly. That finally makes him look up with a somewhat worried grimace.I thought he was a beta.All the other times when he was waiting outside Jasper’s office, or even when I came out here, there were no pheromones in the air. I would usually notice a new scent. This one…

I move even closer, narrowing my eyes. “How can you smell my pheromones?” I ask, now feeling stupid for a completely different reason. I’m covered in another man’s scent, yet he registered my own beneath it all.

He parts his plump lips and in the moment of surprise; I recognize that familiar discomfort in his gaze.Oh?

“I’m, um, an omega,” he says in a choked tone, quickly clearing his throat.

I raise my brows, still staring at him. It might be purely my ignorance, but I never would’ve expected an omega in a position like this. It’s almost unheard of. “Huh…” I mutter pensively and lean back away from him, resting against my propped up arm.

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