Page 16 of Toy No More

All her dreams, her goals, and the life she thought she’d have…gone.

“Nothing you can change,” I whisper to myself, squeezing the steering wheel with my eyes closed. “You’re doing what you have to do.”

My conscience fights against the mantras for a while. Yet after so many repeats, it relents, allowing me to believe those words, even if only for a short while.

I drive to Brooks.

I deliver the box to a smiling, lovely young receptionist who’s completely unaware of the true weight of it.

I leave.

Jasper’s foolish expectation of me being able to eat is just more proof of how different our minds really are. All I can manage is some coffee, sipped slowly until it turns cold while I sit in a dark, quiet alley not too far from the Dollhouse, staring blankly into a wall for what feels like hours.

By the time I have to get back, I’m numb and content with continuing to play my role again. After all, what else is there for me?

Like Jasper wanted, I return to his office just before 6 PM. He’s alone now, with only Roe standing guard outside the door. We nod at each other as I pass—he’s among the few reserved, fairly sane guys around here. At least from what I can tell.

Jasper’s intently watching something on one of his computer screens. He doesn’t look up until I stop in front of his table. Hands joined behind my back, I wait quietly.

“All done?” he asks, looking up at me. I notice he must have changed since the morning. He’s wearing an expensive branded shirt. The luster from the silky material makes him look even more lavish and important. The fabric hugs his swelling, muscular chest and arms.

“Yes, sir. Like I confirmed in the text.”

I stand motionless, chin held high, while he stands, gathering his phone, wallet, and the gun he puts into his holster. “Let’s go then,” he says with an excited spark in his voice.

We get to the car. There are no other guys around. “Just the two of us?” I ask. Most of the time, when I take Jasper places, it’s with an entourage of his men.

“This is a more…intimatebusiness negotiation,” he says, exaggerating the word as he glances at me briefly with a smirk.

“I see.”

He gives me an address and indeed; it is in a more high-end residential area newly built at the edge of the city, quite the distance away from the Dollhouse. Jasper hums an upbeat melody the entire way there, spread out on the back seat, head hung low as he’s focused on his phone. While nothing would surprise me at this point, I doubt he’ll be kidnapping or maiming anyone tonight.

As we wait at a red light close to the destination, I feel his stare on me for the first time and quickly glance up at the rearview mirror. With his eyes narrowed, he watches me. I’m about to question him when he speaks. “You’re surprisingly tough. For an omega, I mean.”

I don’t know what to say to that, so I avert my gaze in discomfort before smiling faintly. I guess he expected me to break down at the sight of that severed hand. Or back out, maybe.

“Just doing my best.” I try to not let him hear the slight frustration prickling at me underneath my skin.

Not that I’m surprised at an alpha saying something like this. It’s just…weird. Apollo is his omega. Is he not basically saying that he’s supposed to be innately weak and useless? If we all are in his eyes, how can he see him as his partner? His equal?

Jasper chuckles, lowering his gaze again. Our final destination is up ahead. Lucky for me, I won’t have to continue this uncomfortable conversation.

I stop at the driveway of the modern, multi-storey house. The grass on the front lawn is green and perfectly trimmed. Several outdoor lights adorn almost every white wall, lighting it up like some art piece in a museum. There are already two expensive cars parked in front of the garage, and no doubt more inside.

Jasper gets out without a word, but pauses and leans down before walking off. I quickly slide down the passenger side window for him and he rests his elbow against it while poking in. “The car’s all streaky. Get it cleaned before getting it back to the Dollhouse. I’ll message you in the morning when I need a pickup. Probably early. So be ready.” After giving his string of orders, he waits for my nod. “Wish me luck with the negotiations,” he finally says with a smirk before withdrawing and heading for the main door.

I glance up and I notice a woman standing by the large window at the front of the highest level of the house. She’s wearing a figure-hugging evening dress that accentuates her voluptuous body. As soon as she sees Jasper walking toward the building, she turns around, her long blonde hair twirling behind her like a wave, and she disappears inside.

A bitter taste builds at the bottom of my mouth.Negotiations… Right.

Even though the car looks fine, I welcome the excuse to spend some more time alone. While the car wash does its thing, I sit inside with my eyes closed, wondering if I’ll be able to go home and get some sleep before picking up Jasper in the morning.

Skyler is always drained from his day at school in the evening and gets pretty moody. Marci hasn’t been feeling too well lately, either. It’s the time of year when her flare ups get worse.

I should be there for them, helping, but instead, I’m annoyed at the mere thought because of how mentally exhausted I feel.

“Fuck my life,” I mutter.

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