Page 25 of Toy No More

He sounds as though he despises me. I try to talk myself out of thinking that.Of course he doesn’t. He loves me. So why is there so much bitterness in his words?

“I…”

Nothing is coming out.Shit.Jasper’s pheromones change from resembling a fresh, lovely ocean air to standing on a beach in the middle of a bone chilling night.

As he grabs my chin and pulls it up so I face him, I feel my whole being constrict. I don’t want to fear him. I don’t want him to think that I do. His gaze is jaded, somehow, and the smile on his lips isn’t genuine. “Everything I do…I do to make a good life for the both of us. All these nice things—the pretty clothes, expensive jewelry, makeup, the entire package… I do what is necessary foryouto have all that. Everything you might want.”

Hypnotized by his commanding aura, I stare at him, lips parted.

I don’t need all those things, I want to say.I only need you.

“I know,” I whisper, breathless.

Jasper’s expression finally shifts into a softer one. The light slowly returns to his eyes. “It’s good. That you are away from all this,” he says, glancing at his bloodied knuckles while he runs his thumb across my lip. He moves closer. “You’re too precious and fragile. The burden is mine…even if you might hate me for it.”

“I don’t hate you,” I blurt out desperately, pressing my forehead against his.

I hear him chuckle. Hooking his hand around my nape, Jasper relaxes against me, finally releasing all of that pent up anger and coming back tous. Still, something about him makes me uneasy. Whatever happened must have frustrated him a lot. Maybe he just needs to relax. The only thing I can do is to help him feel better.

“Let me take care of you,” I whisper, moving in for a kiss. I pull his hand off my neck and guide it down toward my ass. Jasper doesn’t need much convincing to act on his own. He responds hungrily, twisting his tongue with mine and sliding his fingers underneath my clothes to reach my entrance.

He doesn’t even undress me before lifting me up and taking me from behind against the table. Like some ravenous beast, he thrusts in and out while holding my hands above my head, pinned against the wood. His pheromones warp my senses, making me melt under him.

This isn’t the usual emotional sex Jasper and I have. I realize quickly, once he comes inside of me and then immediately flips me around on my back only to lift my legs up over his shoulder and start fucking me again, as hard as a rod, that he might be starting his rut.

The thought makes me roll my eyes with exhaustion. Keeping up with Jasper in his rut is a daunting task. And with me having a day off tomorrow? I’ll most likely end up locked up in here, getting railed mercilessly in every room at every position until his hormones settle down. And on Monday, a slew of clients complaining about missing me over the weekend will hound me on top of that.

I catch myself having these thoughts and pause internally.

I shouldn’t be like this.Annoyed with Jasper for something he can’t control.Iam the one he spends his rut with. I’m the one he wants. The only one.

Having these sorts of feelings isn’t good. Lately, I’ve been a mess. I need to find a way to pull myself together before I start spiraling. Already, the small, inconspicuous thoughts pop into my head here and there. Thoughts of using drugs as a crutch again that I thought left me completely. Jasper would hate nothing more than for me to slip to that.

No. I can’t do that. There has to be something else. Maybe…spending time with another person would help?

I almost surprise myself when that idea pops into my head. To think of it, I’ve never actually used my side of this whole open relationship thing we have. Never before have I felt like it. Jasper was always enough. I never needed more. And I don’tneedanyone else, but it just…feels like an idea I might want to explore now.

“Look at me while I fuck you, Apollo,” Jasper orders, pulling me from my thoughts. He’s holding my cheeks with a dangerous expression on his face. Droplets of sweat run down his forehead.

I obey, staring him right in the eye as he thrusts harder, almost like he’s trying to make a hole through my insides.

This question is definitely best left to later. Jasper becomes way too possessive in his rut for me to even entertain that.

Pressing his thumb firmly against the tip of my cock, he gets my attention again. Grinding his teeth, he bites on my lip, letting me know that if I stray away one more time, there’ll be hell to pay.

?

“Are you feeling better, doll?” Jasper whispers into my ear while he gently runs his hand through my wet hair. I lean into him more, hearing the water splash out of the tub.

“Mhmm… I feel as good as I can after two days of incessant fondling,” I mutter, resting the back of my head on his shoulder behind me. Jasper smiles against my neck before placing a kiss there. Thankfully, he does as he promised. He doesn’t push me or try anything. This bath is nothing more than that—a bath. Only something to help my aching, abused body recover, hopefully. I don’t think I could handle another go.

“I’m sorry,” he says, petting me on the head again. Right now, his pheromones are the opposite of what they were when he got home. They soothe me and make me feel safe.

Jasper just after his rut is my favorite. Placid, soft and agreeable.

“You should be,” I note with a smirk. “You should be especially sorry on behalf of the clients who expected me to work today.”

He squeezes me tightly against himself so that I feel his heart pounding against my skin. “I wasn’t quite ready to let you go, unfortunately. Lucky for you, I know your boss, and he’ll let it slide. Thanks to that pretty face of yours.”

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