Page 31 of Toy No More

“I don’t even know if anything will come of it. We might go out and spend some time together. Maybe we fuck, maybe we don’t. Maybe we don’t even click,” I think out loud. I’d be lying if I denied the chemistry I’ve felt around Kobe. Unusually comforting kind of attraction I can’t explain. That is, besides last night, when I saw the glimpse of genuine desire in his eyes that made my cock ache.

“Then there’s nothing to be worried about, hm?” Sadie encourages me.

I smile back at her, nodding.I suppose she’s right.

When Jasper pulls me out of work early that evening and takes us out to dinner in his favorite restaurant, I promise myself that no matter what, I’ll ask him before the night is over.

For some reason, telling him in public makes me a little more assured. While it’s packed when we arrive—as it always is, considering how sought after the food and service here is—Jasper gets us one of the more private tables by the windows overlooking the back garden. It’s the sort of place I would love to visit fully dressed up.

He orders the best wine after torturing the waiter with incessant questions about the wine list until I tell the poor guy he can go.

The elegant classical music softly playing in the background helps me relax. While we wait for our steak, I hold the glass of wine against my lips and study Jasper, tilting my head that rests against the back of my hand.

“What?” he asks, looking up from his phone.

“I thought you said no more work today.”

With a smirk, he places it screen down next to him and gazes at me with his piercing blue eyes. His beard is getting longer, making him look older and a little more like his father. “You know my work doesn’t just end when I leave that building like yours does. But you’re right. I apologize.”

There are things Jasper has been keeping boxed up recently. It worries me. He didn’t even tell me about what he and his father argued about yesterday. Or where he went when he disappeared for half a day after that fight. He was simply back in bed when I woke up in the morning, seemingly in an unexpectedly stable mood.

Sometimes it feels like there is so much to him he never lets me see. I never know if the fault is me for not being worthy enough for him to open completely. And sometimes I think someone like me isn’t worth that at all.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks, stretching his arm out across the table to touch my hand.

I look down at it and back up at him again. “I figured out who I want to fool around with. Like I mentioned when—”

“Ah.” He interrupts my hesitant muttering, brows raised. I analyze his face for any worrying reaction, but all he seems is…surprised. “Who then?”

I open my mouth, reaching for air, but my pulse pounds against my temple and no words come out. A vortex of unnecessary rumbling swirls through my mind. I need to explain why Kobe and how he means nothing. I need to explain the unexplainable way he sometimes makes me feel, but I don’t want him to think he isn’t enough or did anything wrong. All that while knowing he most likely doesn’t even care. He’s not like me. Jasper’s secure and confident and…

“Apollo.” The firmness of his voice pulls me in again. His eyes pin me down, still expressing only curiosity. “Tell me. It’s nothing more than being in the mood for a fresh flavor of liquor, right? You’re allowed to taste all you want. I promised,” he says, giving me that reassuring look.

My heart hiccups. He’s calling back to the thing he told me when we got together—how with him by my side, I’d be able to taste every flavor life offers, never having to deny myself or despair ever again.

“Your new driver. I want to see what’s there to him.”

Jasper pauses. Only for a moment, something flashes across his face before humming responsively and leans back in his chair. “The omega?” he asks doubtfully, one brow pulled down. “Ha,” he exclaims. “It’s a bizarre choice, but who am I to stop you from having fun?”

The sudden way he turns his surprise into amused indifference makes me a little uneasy. It seems genuine enough. As he sips his wine, Jasper looks no different than he would if I didn’t say anything at all. Even when the waitress comes up with our meals, he thanks her with that polite, charming smile and digs in.

It dawns on me when I pick up my fork.

He doesn’t carebecauseKobe is an omega.In Jasper’s eyes, it means he’s no threat. Or worse, he might think it’s just some weird experimentation. I know his not-so-favoring opinions on the same venus variations being together.

“I-I know it’s kind of strange,” I blurt out, since I don’t want him to think badly of me or my taste. “It’s just that I’ve never used myscrew around pass, so I thought I’d start with something easy and—”

“I told you already,” Jasper interrupts me calmly, more annoyed at me for bothering him while trying to eat. “I don’t care as long as you follow our rules. As long as I know where, when, and give you my blessing. Obviously, neither of you will get a get-out-of-work-to-fuck card, but what you do in your free time is your business.”

Swallowing, I feel my apprehension and anxiety slowly subside. Jasper is right. And this all went much better than I expected. In the end, there was no reason for me to fret about it at all.

?

Or so I thought.

Jasper came off supportive enough back then. Now, nearly three weeks later, every attempt at setting up a date with Kobe has resulted in defeat. Or a fizzling out, rather.

It’s nothing new that I get pretty busy or that there are times when clients seem to frequent the Dollhouse more than usual. And the unstable situation between the gangs Jasper has to juggle, whatever it is that’s going on, makes it so even Kobe is getting worked like a dog together with the other members of the group.

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