Page 38 of Toy No More

Oh, no. He’s not overthinking this, is he?

“What do you mean? This…is nothing. It’sthis.This exact moment. What we did. Something organic that shouldn’t be over-analyzed. Are you okay with that? Because I need to know that you are,” I say, getting a little more serious.

I’m still wrestling with my reaction to how I acted and how profoundly I enjoyed this. The last thing I need is for Kobe to get some weird ideas. I thought he knew this was simply some no-strings-attached fun. It can’t be anything more.

“I am.” I narrow my eyes, observing his expression for signs of dishonesty. “I really am. I was just…making sure. I don’t know if you can tell, but I don’t do this sort of thing very often,” he says with a chuckle that somehow pushes that heavy boulder off my chest.

Smiling crookedly, I let out a sigh of relief.Good. This is good.I’m happy everything worked out this way. This really is the best possible outcome I could’ve hoped for.

Speaking of outcomes and consequences… A face pops into my mind. “I thoroughly enjoyed this. I hazard a guess that you did too,” I add playfully, “so if we want to do this again at some point, I hope it’s obvious this isn’t exactly something you chat about with other people. This is an…unusual situation, you could say, even for me.”

“Y-yeah. Of course.”

He sounds maybe a little too eager, like he’s just hoping to please me, so I have to make absolutely sure he gets what I mean. “Blabbing about this to the guys at work or even around Jasper… This is the sort of thing separated from your job, no matter what, alright? Let’s not make it weird.”

The understanding nod Kobe gives in response puts me at ease about him somehow letting it slip to Jasper.

Kobe isn’t an idiot. He cares too much to mess this up.

And with that strange sense of guilt finally leaving my body too, we both lay in bed for a little while, naked and in silence, just…existing. I smile faintly, staring at the outdated speckled ceiling of the hotel room.

For the first time in what feels like too long, I feel complete and utter contentment.

That stupid smile doesn’t leave my lips until I unlock the front door of the apartment. Even the walk through the city felt like being in a different reality. The night was so beautiful… More beautiful than it usually is. My head’s clear and unburdened.

I freeze when I notice a light on in the kitchen and then hear movement. Jasper walks out, wearing his sweats and nothing else.

“Oh, hi,” I say, quickly putting my jacket on the hanger. It’s good I washed off my makeup before leaving the hotel room because of how messed up it was.

Surprising myself with how calmly I’m able to act, I put on my most convincing smile and walk toward Jasper, even though I can tell his quiet discontentment with me being dressed up like I am. “I didn’t expect you, but I’m glad you’re home. You didn’t stay up just for me, did you?”

He lets me give him a kiss, but watches me a little too intently as I wrap my arms around him.It’s fine,I tell myself.You told him you would go out with friends.

“Did you have fun?” he asks, smiling, but my stomach twists at the sight of it. Something is off. A tinge of anxiety tickles at my spine.

“Yeah. We went shopping and got a few drinks. Didn’t buy anything, but—”

I pause when Jasper touches his nose against my cheek, drawing in the air. I had a quick shower at the hotel. He can’t possibly still smell the pheromones, can he?

Jasper switches on me in a blink of an eye. He grabs me by the neck and pulls me away from him. Making me stumble in my heels, he pushes me against the kitchen island and tightens his grip. “And which one of your friends soaked your clothes in pheromones, hm? Ones that smell so damn familiar?” He grinds those words through his teeth next to my ear.

Desperately trying to stay calm, I close my eyes and hold on tightly at the island’s edge behind me to keep myself steady.

My clothes. It stuck to my clothes.Fuck.

“J-Jasper,” I whimper, opening my mouth to put out excuses before I stop myself. Like I only now realize how dangerous the man holding me can be, my brain switches gears and in desperation searches for an out. Ican’tlie. He clearly smells the pheromones. There’s no way around this. “Please, just let—”

He does. With a sharp movement, Jasper releases my neck, allowing me to take a proper breath again. Stepping away from me, he closes his hand into a fist, his eyes burning into me for a response. Somehow, I still feel his tightening grip on me.

‘Explain, placate him, beg for forgiveness’,the voice in my head shouts.

“Did I not give you a clear enough answer?” he asks, his words more and more resembling feral, guttural growls.

His threatening tone makes me shiver, so I hang my head down. “I know. I know you said— We didn’t do anything,” I say, barely keeping my voice firm. My mouth feels dry.A bit of the truth. That’s my best chance.“I did a-ask him out, but we only went for drinks a-and made out at the bar. That’s all that happened.”

Jasper’s heavy gaze has me feeling like I’m turning to stone. Nothing but my pounding, panicked heart can move.

He draws his brows together and tilts his head. “I don’t believe you,” he says, some sort of disgust slipping through his words. Before I can even get offended by the implication of me being some slut, he makes a step toward me again. “Bend over,” he orders me.

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