Page 49 of Toy No More

I hear her sigh next to me. “Don’t be silly. It isn’t a waste on you…” Her voice is as controlled and smooth as ever. I sense clearly she wants to say something more. Even her pheromones seep out, not in an overwhelming, pushy way. They linger with uncertainty.

She ends up staying quiet, probably knowing it’s for the best.

We clear our things, pack up and get ready to leave. In front of the main entrance, Sadie gives me a firm, long hug. Long enough to make me settle a little, but almost a little too long that it threatens to unravel more emotions swirling inside me again.

“Get home safe,” I say as she pulls away.

She taps at her purse where her taser is. “Don’t you worry. Get some rest, okay? Don’t go to bed sad. Do something good for yourself,” she whispers as she lingers near my ear, playfully rubbing my hair before she opens the main door.

I feel nice and warm when Sadie gives me advice. She’s like the caring, wise older sister I never had. Always saying the right things…

I stand outside for a moment, watching her make her way to her ride. When I know she’s safe, I head in the other direction, toward Jasper’s secondary, less used and flashy car. As I open the back door and bend down, I freeze at him sitting there as well.

Oh no…why today?

Kobe sits in the driver’s seat. I try not to show any reaction. Clearly, he does the same, because when I glance at him in the rearview mirror as I sit down, his face is painfully neutral. A hint of something shows behind his eyes, but he’s pretty good at pretending this isn’t incredibly unfortunate and awkward.

I flash Jasper an apologetic smile as I settle next to him. I know how much he hates waiting. He brushes over my hand softly and orders Kobe to drive.

He can’t know we had that fight, but it almost feels like he’s done this on purpose. Why did he have to take us home today, of all days? Or is this just some game to Jasper? I always thought that if I were ever to entertain being with other people, Jasper would be the type to avoid it, if anything. Ignore them. Act like they don’t exist while accepting it. This…this feels messy and makes my already queasy stomach riot.

Low-volume radio music plays in the car. I can’t help myself from glancing in the mirror, hoping to catch Kobe’s eyes. I don’t even know why… Hoping for him to show regret for what he said? To see interest? Or maybe lack of his anger? Of course, I get none of it. The inside of the car is as dark as our surroundings, and it’s like Kobe isn’t even there.

I lower my eyes, nervously fidgeting with my hands in my lap.

Feeling a squeeze on my thigh, I tense up. Jasper leans in, so close I feel his breath on me. He doesn’t come for a kiss or say anything. Instead, he moves his hand up and between my legs.

I hold in a gasp, flashing him a confused glance.What is he doing? Now?

He smirks, though I can barely see his face, and kisses me on the neck. His pheromones fill my nose, getting my body to react even as I’m praying for him to stop. I don’t know why my mouth won’t listen to me. I open it sharply, only to let out a quiet moan that makes me feel dirty and stupid.

Jasper grabs me over my pants, kneading at my cock. I dart my eyes to the rearview mirror, this time in fear. That’s it—the emotion I’m feeling. Besides embarrassment, there’s cold, grating fear.

I swear I get a glimpse of Kobe’s brown eyes for a split second, just as I look before he averts his gaze. Or maybe he never looked in the first place and has only been obediently watching the road. Maybe it’s all in my head.

“Jasper,” I whisper, holding a breath in to stop my body from melting under him. I don’t want to feel sexual. Not right now, not right here.

His touches ease up, even if only a little. He continues gently caressing my thigh and rests his chin against my clavicle for the rest of the painfully long car journey.

When we arrive outside of our building, I nearly run out of the car. As I walk around the front of it, some kind of nagging feeling tells me to look, and I see Kobe following me with his eyes while sitting there motionless, hands grasping the wheel. His face doesn’t change, and he quickly looks down, acting like he’s busy with something.

I let the frustration bubble inside of me, grinding my teeth and telling myself to forget it. To stop thinking about him.

Jasper unlocks the door and saunters in. He doesn’t seem as tired or annoyed as he was when walking in on Sadie and I.

“Did you tell Kobe off?” I blurt the moment he closes it behind us, unable to hold it in any longer.

He pauses with his hand hovering over the key bowl. I stand a few steps into the room with my hands balled into tight fists. “Tell him off? No,” Jasper says in a confused tone. When he flicks on the lights and looks at me, his face bears no sign of worry. He seems almost surprised by my question. “Why would I?”

I swallow hard, staring him down, but he doesn’t let down.Did Kobe lie? Did he exaggerate?

“You didn’t speak to him about us?”

Jasper draws his brows together and walks to me, making an expression of gentle concern. “I mentioned it briefly, but didn’t say anything negative. Remember, I told you the two of you are free to do whatever you want,” he says, stepping closer. As I hesitantly open my mouth, he reaches for my hand and pulls me in.

He kisses me softly, gently, like he used to.

Maybe I’m too tired to bother with all this right now. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about it and just…sink into the comfort of what I already have.

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