Page 53 of Toy No More

He waves his hand, as careless as ever. “I’ll tell the boss you’re on the way. Just don’t be too long.” I nod sharply and while he continues up the stairs, I turn around to hurry into one of the side rooms down the hall.

Goddamn you, whoever is in charge of this shitshow we call life. What is it now?

“Hello?” I say quickly. The sharp breath on the other side tells me that the person must’ve been close to hanging up.

“Oh, hello! Mr. Saber. This is Miss Hammond, Skyler’s primary teacher.” I’m glad it’s her calling and not the headmaster. Unlike him, Miss Hammond’s a gentle, understanding lady. She’s been working with Sky for about three years and has helped him with learning and independence a lot. “I hope I’m not bothering you at work. We have two primary contact numbers here, so I wasn’t sure—”

“Y-Yeah, that’s fine,” I cut her off unintentionally. Marci is in the hospital, getting her monthly treatment anyway. “Did something happen?” I stare at the wall in front of me, holding my breath, half from stress, half to hear if anyone’s coming.

“There was an incident, but I assure you, nothing terribly serious!” She clarifies quickly, using that sweet tone of voice she probably does with her students. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop my heart from galloping like it’s fighting for its life.An incident?“Skyler has been treated by the school nurse and she determined there is no need to call an ambulance. So please, rest assured, he is okay.”

“What happened?” I try not to sound as on edge as I am, but might not be very successful.

Miss Hammond makes the sort of concerned, pitying sigh people do before saying something bad. “Skyler had an argument with another student, Dylan, today. A teacher stepped in to help them resolve it, but Skyler got a bit frustrated and threw a small paperweight she had on her desk against the nearby cabinet. It happened to bounce off very awkwardly and hit him in the forehead. This resulted in a minor wound the school nurse had already tended to. He won’t need stitches.”

I push out a tense breath.

Okay, okay. This could have been worse.

But it still is. Skyler hates being hurt. Injuries, blood, medical stuff.Hatesit.

“How is he?”

“He’s a bit shaken and doesn’t want to talk to anyone. I thought it best for him to get some alone time in the relaxation room until—”

“I’ll come and talk to him,” I say sharply, even though my chest tightens over the decision. I’ve missed far too many moments like these. Skyler needs to know I’m here for him, before he stops believing that and starts pushing me away.

“I think he’d like that. I’ll tell him you’re coming.”

I thank her and end the call, leaning against the wall behind me. Rubbing my eyes, I try to settle my buzzing mind.

Jasper. His demanding face appears in front of me. There’s no fucking way he’d be happy to give me this pass to go out and deal with my family while I was already supposed to be in his office right now, getting orders for what to do for the rest of the day. But I’ve seen the guys disappear for hours at a time sometimes, seemingly without reason, and him only telling them off lightheartedly.

Then again, I’m new, and might still be on thin ice because of all that stuff with Apollo…

“Screw it,” I mutter, and start typing a text to Trey.What is it they say? Ask for forgiveness, not for permission?

Saying that I have some urgent family business to take care of and will be back within an hour, I rush to the car. As I’m starting the engine, I get a typical Trey response in the form of a thumbs up emoji. I don’t have time to wonder if he relayed my message to Jasper in an appropriate tone or stress over his reaction.

I order myself to worry about what’s really important—my little brother.

I torture myself with the extensive list of every single time I’ve failed Skyler recently on my way to his school. The traffic doesn’t help. Tapping on the wheel in an exceedingly faster tempo, I beat myself up in my mind, even wondering if I truly am any better at taking care of him than Mom.

Those were my last words to her before they locked her up, and I never visited her again.

Shaking my head, I force myself to take a deep breath.Of course I’m better than her.If Marci was here with me, she would tell me the same thing. It just turns out life isn’t as easy as I thought it would be when I was a teenager.

Unlike Mom, I’m at least willing to sacrifice anything to be there for him. She never could do that. She never could forgo a drink or give up on some money to protect her own child. Still, I hope I won’t have to sacrifice too much because of this. If I’m lucky, Jasper will only assign me some more ungrateful work and maybe terrorize me with that death stare of his for a bit.

Of course, the problem withhisdeath stare is that it can easily become more than symbolic. But that’s an issue for later.

I let out a sigh of relief when I finally park outside Skyler’s school. With a singular goal in my mind, I dash through the halls and corridors, cursing at myself when I barely remember which direction is his usual classroom.

Yet another reminder of how hands off I’ve been.

The tall ginger I recognize to be Miss Hammond at the end of the hall spots me before I do her. She pauses on her way into the room. “Mr. Saber,” she says with that optimistic, airy smile she always has. With how patient one has to be with these kids, day after day, I admire her for doing the work she does. Clearly, she does it well, too.

“Hi,” I say when I finally step toward her. I extend my hand and shake hers, and even though there’s not a hint of anything but saint-like pleasantness on her face, I’m berated by my own thoughts telling me that she must judge what a horrible caretaker I am.

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