Page 63 of Toy No More

“I tried to achieve bigger things the right way, but these old men—still clinging to their position, living in the past and thinking they’re as smart and brilliant as they once were—are unwilling to let the new generation advance. So we’ve got to make our own way. Starting by eliminating my father and taking what’s mine in full,” Jasper says proudly, almost like he’s savoring those words on his tongue.

Widening my eyes, I look around. Some are surprised; those who didn’t know about this plan. I wonder if their hearts pound as loudly inside their ears as my own does, or if this is a normal part of life for them. Something to be expected.

I knew Jasper hated Solomon, but never thought he would—

This is fucking insane.

“My father thinks that I have to wait for him to put the crown on my head when he feels I’mready. The old man’s wrong. He’s as wrong and inefficient as the rest of them. It’s no longer their time. They refuse to accept that reality and only stand in our way.”

A few affirming, supportive shouts and other sounds of agreement echo through the room. I stare ahead, trying to calm my thoughts and get the tremble pulsing from the center of my chest to stop.

Jasper continues, voice becoming deeper and colder. “I have already established the members who can be trusted, and those who are staunchly loyal to my father. They’ll all be in his house, as will those willing to support me. I’ve calculated every part of this plan and it’s ready for execution. Tonight.”

“Tonight?” someone blurts. For a second I think it has escaped my lips, because it’s the same thought standing at the forefront of my mind in bold red letters.

“Tonight,” Jasper says with a firm gaze, tilting his head down at them, the whiteness at the bottom of his eyes showing, making him look even more terrifying. There’s nothing in the world that would stop him or compel him to change his mind.

He must have started planning this months ago. As shocking as it is, telling this plan to more than his most trusted inner circle was the wise decision. With something as massive as this, he couldn’t risk anyone slipping up. People talk. People make mistakes. This way, his victory is almost guaranteed. Solomon Zane knows Jasper is ambitious and dangerous, but I don’t think that even he will expect a ruthless move like this.

“Is everyone okay with that?” Jasper throws the question into the room. Only after I blink and focus my eyes back on him do I realize that he and a few of the guys are looking straight at me.

My body tenses to the point my stomach cramps. “W-Why are you asking me that?” I ask in a small voice. It feels like all of them are a pack of hyenas glaring at me.

Have I just…walked into a trap?

“My father asked you to keep an eye on me, did he not?” I don’t conceal my reaction well enough, making Jasper snort with amusement. “I know about everything that is going on under my nose, unlike him.”

Calm down. You need to calm down.

So that’s why I’m here. Not because he trusts me, but because I need to make a choice. I’m a liability. This way, he’s pushing me to make it. He’s giving me no choice, really. Voicing anything against this plan makes me his father’s supporter.An enemy.

This is the exact bullshit I didn’t want to be put in the middle of.Fuck!

Digging my nails into my palms, I swallow, meeting Jasper’s eyes. “If you know that, then you must know I never informed your father about anything,” I manage to say firmly enough. After all, I’m telling the truth. “Him asking me that made me uncomfortable from the beginning,” I say.

I just wanted to do my work in this goddamn minefield of depravity and violence and provide for my family. And I never asked to be put in the middle of the drama of this dysfunctional one.

Jasper smirks, tilting his head to the side with a chuckle. There is something dark about him as he looks at me. Something unhinged, unpredictable and deeply disturbing that slithers within. All I can do is to stay still and pray I don’t get bitten.

I’m on the verge of a full-blown panic attack before he finally speaks. “I’ll take that as reaffirmation of your loyalty,” he says, throwing his car keys at me.

I barely catch them, still half-believing I will end up dead. Skyler and Marci keep staring at me in my mind, faces twisted with betrayal. Reminding me they would never forgive me if I left them alone.

“Yes, boss,” I say, bowing my head in respect, but more so to escape his gaze.

“We’re all set to proceed as planned, then. Unless someone else has any concerns?”Nothing. The room is completely silent. “Good. We’ll leave in ten. Guns are ready. Gibbs and Vince will lead the two clean up groups. Others are in contact with our people on the inside. You,” Jasper continues speaking to me, “will wait in the car with me and Dennis for when things have settled down inside and we gained control of the situation. That’s when we push in to take care of my father.”

Relief washes over me, even if it’s tainted by guilt. He doesn’t expect me to be in there killing people, at least. I don’t know if I could handle that.

I don’twantto be able to handle that.

Going through the motions of what comes next, I feel unsettlingly distant from myself and the world. My fingers tingle while I hold the wheel, driving us to the scene of the upcoming massacre. I don’t dare to go anywhere near the rearview mirror, too afraid of what kind of terrifying beast would peer at me from the backseat.

All I can think about is that I put myself in this position. In the beginning, when I saw the easy opportunity to get money and to not have to slave away in some low-paying job, I knew what the risks were. I knew that the people I got myself involved with, like Mr. Wilson, weren’tgood people. And yet, I told myself that it was what I had to do to provide for my family. I was stupid. Young and arrogant.‘You’ll only be a driver,’I placated myself.

But now I see the grim truth. Even if I’m only the one driving us there, even if I never fire my gun, I am an undeniable part of it. That blood will be on my hands, too. There is no separating myself from it.

What would Marci think if she knew half of it? Would she say I belong in prison, just like my mother?

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