Page 69 of Toy No More

Then it hits me. I swear I saw the car Jasper usually has him drive parked outside the back. Hoping to find him there, I rush to that spot, the dread inside me growing stronger and more ever present with each step.He wouldn’t do that, I remind myself again, staunchly fighting against the paranoid side of me that wants me to believe it. He’s hurt and angry, but even if Kobe said anything he shouldn’t have, he wouldn’t.

Would he?

I push those thoughts aside as something absurd and yet…I stop in the backroom on my way and pick up a handful of medicine. Why do I do that if I believe he wouldn’t?

As I run out into the cold embrace of the dead of night, I see him right where I expected him to be. The car’s parked under the old freeway by the furthest wall. The driver’s door is open and Kobe sits in it, his feet outside of the car with his head hung between his legs. Even across the parking lot, I notice his shoulders shaking. Then I hear his slow, ragged breaths, and my heart shatters.

“Kobe,” I say, making him tiredly lift his head to me. He didn’t seem to notice me approach.

Everything about his face…oh, it makes me sick. He looks horrible. Pale and tired and just wrong. I fight through my own feelings, my memories rushing in and all the emotions that have been dormant for so long threatening to burst out. Kneeling to him, I gently touch his knee.

“I-I heard something happened,” I murmur, suddenly finding it hard to catch my breath as well. Jasper’s scent clings to him. Hangs around like a cloud of poisonous smoke. “Look at me. Hey!” I hold his chin between my thumb and index finger, realizing how clammy and hot his skin feels. Droplets of sweat roll down his cheek. And yet he focuses those brown eyes on me, no matter how glassy and tired they are, and tries to smile.

“I’m…I’m fine,” he whispers, but as he swallows, discomfort marks his face. I’m paralyzed with the fear of what to do, so I come closer and as I release the grip on his chin, his head falls against my shoulder. Kobe sighs, still shaking. “I’m just so…so hot. Hot and…ugh.”

He is. He basically radiates heat.

This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all.

Panic fully sets in. With my trembling hands, I open the medicine packet and barely pop two of the pills out from it. My fingers won’t listen. They’re like wooden sticks with no feeling in them at all. “T-Take this, Kobe. Hey,” I urge him desperately, squeezing his thigh to get his attention.

He shivers and I can’t tell if it’s because my touch was too much or something else. My mind buzzes with all the horrible possibilities of what could happen, of how terrible he must feel right now. Those emotions are getting harder and harder to ignore, as is the voice I shut down and swept to the side. It keeps rising above the rest, letting me know it was right.

It was right about him. He did this.Hedid the unforgivable.

“Fuck…” My heart skips a beat with a painful tug at Kobe’s desperate whine. He shakes his head, his sweat soaking through the fabric of my shirt, and I can tell he’s desperately trying to hold himself from breaking down. “What’s happening to me?”

I open my mouth, but the words are stuck in my throat.

I stare ahead into the car that’s full of Jasper’s scent, and I want to scream. Instead, I shut my eyes and force myself to draw a deep breath. Ihaveto help him. “Take these pills. I’m begging you to take them. It’s a suppressant. It’ll make it a little better, I promise,” I say quickly, pushing the two pills between his parted lips.

He lets me—maybe because he trusts me, maybe because he would do anything for some release, or worst of all, maybe because he’s still so out of it he can barely tell what’s going on. Each option threatens to upturn my stomach more than the next.

Noticing the half-empty bottle of water in the cup holder, I reach for it and force that into his mouth too, making him drink until there’s nothing left. When he leans back down after swallowing a few times, Kobe tenses up and jerks as if he’s about to throw up, but eventually holds it in. With an exhale, he rests his cheek against the seat and closes his eyes.

I watch his face meticulously for any other signs of possible bad side effects. My lip quivers, no matter how hard I try to make it stop.

“I’ll be fine,” he says, still a little breathless. Is he seriously trying to calmmein this situation? It infuriates me more than it should. I almost tell him off before I realize he isn’t the true target of my anger, which makes me that much more frustrated and shaky.

“Did he do this?” I whisper, maybe too quietly for him to even hear. Drawing in a deep breath, I touch Kobe’s forehead. It’s still hot and sweaty, but not as bad as it was a few moments ago. I think the suppressants are working more effectively because he’s already on a different type of them. These are made for this specific purpose, and Kobe’s pheromones being lower than usual probably helped.

His eyes open slowly. Exactly like I would expect, there’s that careful hesitation. Even now, there’s hesitation.

“I…questioned him when I shouldn’t have.”

I frown. “That gave him no right to do this to you.”

Kobe perks up at my reaction, raising his brows. “Do you know… Oh, god.Fuck. Do you know what…what’s happening to me? I feel so damn…” Speaking still seems a little too much for him, so he quiets down, letting out a frustrated sigh.

I hate knowing how he’s feeling. I hate knowing how mushy his mind must be. Your own head becoming an incoherent and scary place is one of the worst things a person can experience.

The guilt and a sense of responsibility forces me to answer. Even if Kobe said something out of line, I know damn well Jasper took it out on him for another reason.

Me.

I am the reason. Me wanting to start this whole thing, and pulling Kobe close, did this to him. Jasper can act all open-minded, but just the scent that lingers on Kobe screams clearly about his true intentions. It’s possessive, as all alphas are in their heart of hearts.

“It’s…it’s basically poisoning. I think the medical term is s-something like Acute Pheromone Overexposure. Too much…too much of it hurts the body. Makes you ill.”

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