Page 82 of Toy No More

Justconsideringcalling those agents back makes me a traitor.

When it came to snitches, it was the only time I experienced true ruthlessness working for Mr. Wilson. A gangster known for his class and restraint. It was the one thing he could not tolerate and had to punish to the fullest extent. I doubt Jasper would be any more forgiving. In fact, I know his creativity and sadism would have no limits if he found out.

They want me to become an informant. A damn mole. To turn away from the people and the way of life I’ve known for over a decade, risk my life to betray everyone and everything and…act as if that will absolve me of my sins? Only because these people say it would make me innocent in the eyes of the law, would it really feel that way? Or would I feel like a spineless traitor on top of the guilt I’m already carrying?

I narrow my eyes at the phone number on the card, having been reading it in my head over and over and over again.

Maybe this really is my only way out of this, no matter how risky.

When I started, I was naïve enough to think I could stop anytime. Now I see that this life is all or nothing. You don’t just retire like Mr. Wilson did. Not when you’re an insignificant pawn like me. So that’s my situation, whether or not I like it: either kill your fucking conscience, keep pushing on, and see it through to the ugly, immoral end, living your entire life being a pathetic criminal, or take this chance out. There are no other options. Only this one fork in the road.

Deep down, you know you don’t belong on this path. And it’s not just about you. The people you love are being dragged down it and tainted by the filth, too.

I put the number into my phone. It’s almost two in the morning—probably not something the agent will be happy about, if they even pick up. But I’m too scared that I’ll chicken out or change my mind if I don’t do it right now.

The beeps are agonizingly slow, especially compared to the pounds of my heart I hear echoing through the phone against my ear. I try to stay patient, to resist the urge to hang up and crumple the card. I tap my foot nervously, biting the inside of my lip as it rings and rings and…

Crackling. Followed by a sigh that can only come from someone being woken up in the middle of the night.

“Agent Evans,” she says, clearly doing her best to not sound annoyed.

Suddenly, the words that have been eagerly waiting on my tongue vanish. I lap in air through my open mouth, desperately trying to get a hold of my thoughts.

“What would you need me to do…to protect me and my family?” I ask, staring ahead without blinking. “Can…can you really guarantee nothing will happen to them?”

I hear a quiet, confused huff before something tells me she connects the dots. “Mr. Saber,” she says firmly, now sounding almost identical to that confident, professional agent that turned up at my door. “I take it you’ve had a change of heart.”

“There’s somebody else,” I blurt. It comes out before Apollo’s face even becomes clear in my mind. If I’m risking everything, I can’t just leave him behind. The other dolls might be fine were there an investigation or a full-on raid on the place, but he’s too close to the center. To Jasper. There would be no plausible deniability to him not being aware of what he was doing or what crimes were happening. “Another person whose immunity and safety I need guaranteed. Those are my only demands.”

“Alright?” she mutters, voice rising as if she’s intrigued. “Who are we talking about here?”

“His name is Apollo.”

Is this really what he would want?

My stomach feels like it’s going to implode. He said he thought about leaving this life, and I know—I can tell—how much he despises doing that job. He’d most definitely not be happy about me selling Jasper out and betraying him. But even if Apollo hates me after this and never wants to see me again, I have to hope it’s the right thing for him in the end.

“Well, I’m not sure if it’s his actual, legal name. It…” I pause, suddenly uncomfortable with the idea of giving her the name he revealed to me as if it was precious and to be protected, but I don’t even have to as I get interrupted by her surprised chuckle.

“Huh. Would you look at that… What’s your connection to him?”

“You know about him?” I ask with raised brows.

“Of course we do. He’sveryclose to Zane. Known to be his primary partner. Longest lasting, for sure… We told you already that we have people on the inside, but nowhere near as deep as that. We briefly considered approaching him, but found it too risky. We didn’t have enough confidence that we could turn him.”

“He—” Not entirely. He doesn’t know a thing. Might even despise me for this. “Whatever happens, I just need him to walk away from this scot-free. Because he is. He might be close to Jasper, but he has nothing to do with whatever’s happening,” I say sharply, needing her to understand that.

“Alright, alright. I believe you. I don’t think including him would be much of an issue. But…before I can give you serious confirmation of anything, we’re going to need to talk to you.Officially. We’ll need as much information as you can give, all on paper and by the book. As for what we want you to do, we must obtain solid, physical proof that would help us arrest Jasper Zane, his closest associates, and to make sure they won’t be able to slip away. To really put an end to him and his operation.”

Yeah. Deep down, I already knew that.

My hand trembles as I look at it in my lap. I’m still unsure. Scared. But I can’t back out just for my comfort. I can’t keep running from the effort it takes to be a better person. “Okay,” I whisper shakily. “Yeah, I agree.”

“Very well. I’m glad you decided to trust us, Mr. Saber. I will send you the details in the morning, if you don’t mind,” Agent Evans says with a faint chuckle. Right. I almost forgot I woke her up. “Until we speak again, take care, and try to get some sleep. You are doing the right thing, Kobe.”

Her voice is soft and tender when she says it. And stupidly, it soothes me.

I’m doing the right thing. I have to be.

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