Page 84 of Toy No More

And even if he never would use it against me, I can’t forget that this place isn’t truly mine. It’s Jasper’s. It was his before I moved in. In one way or another, I’ve always felt like a visitor in this lovely dream, always unsure when it would be ripped away from me.

A strange sense of melancholy envelopes me.

Why do I feel like this? It must be because I'm tired.

“Hey,” Jasper’s voice pulls me back into the moment. He stands in front of me, gently pulling at my chin to face him. “What is it?” he asks, brows drawn together.

“Sorry. I was just— Today was a lot,” I mutter weakly, hoping he understands.

Humming, he moves in closer, wrapping his hand around my waist as he kisses me on the neck. I notice in his movements that he’s hiding something in his other hand, so I pull away with a confused smirk. Jasper already has that boastful expression on his face he always does before giving me a gift.

He reveals a small jewelry box and hands it to me while still caressing my hip. “This should make you feel a little better, then,” he says, voice dripping with honey.

The rectangular box feels like velvet. Smiling softly, I touch the edge, and the unfamiliar branding on top, before opening it. Inside sits a beautifully displayed golden bracelet with my name. The diamonds filling every letter sparkle in front of me and reflect light in all directions.

“Wow,” I whisper, running the tips of my fingers across it. I never was one for jewelry, but it’s always been a sign of wealth to me. All those rich men who bought me had expensive golden watches and rings and chains. They would sometimes ask me which necklace to buy for their wives and I struggled to even comprehend the amount when they told me the prices they were looking at. “Thank you, Jaz,” I blurt, nearly forgetting to react.

He smiles proudly. “They’re genuine diamonds,” Jasper says, kissing me again.

“I heard they make little kids mine for those… Apparently you can grow identical ones in the lab,” I mutter, almost thoughtlessly, without really considering how ungrateful it might sound. Fearing his response, I blink and meet his eyes. Thankfully, Jasper only gives me a brief frown before taking the box out of my hands and putting the bracelet on my wrist.

“Suits you either way,” he whispers into my ear, placing more and more kisses down it, heading for my collarbone. What felt like small marks of affection is turning into what my body knows will be something more. Something purely physical. My lungs constrict and my stomach clenches as the discomfort and guilt mix inside my gut.

I’m tired. I told him I’m tired, but he just gave me this gift… What kind of asshole would I be to refuse him?

Jasper squeezes my ass and reaches for a kiss with that possessive, ravenoushungerin his gaze and I…recoil. Completely unintentionally and subconsciously, I recoil.

The regret floods me instantly, laced potently with fear. He sharply moves away when I try to reach for him and apologize, flashing me a frustrated glare. “What is it now?” he asks, visibly struggling not to roll his eyes.

Cold sweat runs down my back.‘You fucked up,’the warning voice sounds at the back of my head.‘You made a mistake and now you’ll pay for it.’

“N-nothing, I’m just tired. I—”

He slaps my hand away before I can touch his cheek, leaving a burning sensation behind. “You’re a shit liar, Apollo,” he spits out, teeth clenched.

I don’t have the energy for this.My god, I desperately want some damn peace and rest.

“I’m just…I’m just nervous and on edge around all this violence I keep hearing about. Feels like things are going in a…bad direction,” I say softly, knowing damn well my opinion doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have one when it comes to this, to his work, as Jasper loves to remind me. But he asked what was wrong. “I’m worried about you,” I finally admit, hoping my honesty can reach through to him. “The things that are happening… It isn’t like the man I met.”

He gives no fiery response so I get brave, stepping closer and carefully taking his hands into mine. Glaring at me without a word, he lets me. Maybe now is the right time to voice my concerns. Maybe he will listen for once.

“I’m scared that this power and violence are corrupting you somehow. Changing you for…for the worse. Maybe you need to slow down just a little.”

His cruel laughter is like a cold shard of ice passing through my heart. Widening my eyes, I watch him grin broadly at me as if I just told some hilarious joke. “Oh, Apollo… You goddamn moron. That’sexactlythe man you met.”

My lungs refused to work. It feels like I am staring down the barrel of that gun again.

With a swift motion, he twists my hands so that it’s his grip over my wrists instead of the other way around. “It’s fucking hilarious, really. How you think that I’m some kind of monster. Some unleashed, rabid dog, while your sweet little omega boy-toy is a saint.”

I wince at the mention of Kobe. “Why are you bringing him into this?” I blurt, frustration building up inside me. “He’s nothing to me, he—”

“Because I’m fucking right! Aren’t I?” he raises his voice with that sharp question, tugging at my arms. I shake my head while the tears create growing pressure behind my eyes.

No, he…he’s wrong. He…

Kobeisbetter than him. He isn’t the same.

Almost like he can read my thoughts, like he has some terrifying ability to peer into my mind, Jasper lets go of me with a furious grunt. “Fuck it. Think whatever you want.” He throws the box into the room and heads for the door.

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