Page 99 of Toy No More

I’ve heard this shit so many times from so many men. Proclaiming they would keep me safe. Claiming that if only I would trust them wholeheartedly, they would fix the pathetic mess of my life and finally bring me happiness. None of them ever spoke the truth.

Even Jasper…even Jasper didn’t. All the gifts and money and safety were transactional from the beginning. I didn’t want to see it. I wanted to believe it was real, so I deluded myself into thinking that the occasional hurt, the occasional crossing of my boundaries, were fair enough price.

Why am I realizing it all now? Why am I opening my eyes only when there’s yet another siren singing in front of me, asking me to make myself vulnerable?

And why do I want to trust Kobe so easily?

“I made sure,” he says. He’s so close. His warmth only makes me want to cling to his song more. “I made sure you would be protected, no matter what. The deal I made includes you, so please, just…don’t take any risks and play along, okay?” Suddenly, his hand is on my cheek, caressing me softly, and my eyes that threaten to let out tears of fear and frustration get heavy at the tenderness of him.

He…thought of me? Made a deal forme?

A horrifying realization enters my mind—the knowledge that if Jasper was forced into the same position, he wouldn’t hesitate a moment to sell me out. I know he wouldn’t.

Blinking sharply, I part my lips, letting out a shaky breath. “Y-you did?”

Surprise flashes over his face, followed by a faint frown. “Of course, it… Look. They’ve been trying to get Jasper and his father for a long time. Now, they finally have a chance.” His voice goes lower while he cautiously looks toward the door. “They’re going to raid this place. I’m not sure when. They’re getting the formalities sorted out. I know I shouldn’t have done this without your knowledge—making a deal on your behalf—but…you said you wanted to leave this life. I see how all of it smothers you. I want you to be happy, and I’ll do anything I can to make that happen. They’ll protect us after. We could start again.”

We…?

My cheeks burn and prickle, but I like the heat. It goes all the way down my chest and swirls in there, turning into comfort. I blink slowly, only now realizing I’ve been nibbling at my lip. Kobe watches me intently, worry in his eyes, almost as if he’s afraid of my answer.

“Are-are you not angry with me?”

My brows knit in confusion. “Angry?”

“You love Jasper.” As he says it, his hand carefully withdraws. He’s fighting with something. Fiddling with his fingers until he clenches his fist as he shifts on his feet in front of me, Kobe lets out a frustrated huff. “I know I’m nobody to you, but—”

“I,” the word slips out of my mouth, silencing him, “don’t think I’ve loved him for a long time. And I don’t know if he ever…really loved me back.” Saying it out loud undoes some kind of knot inside my chest. Blinking as a solitary tear runs down my cheek, I exhale and look up at Kobe again. “Why are you doing all of this for me?”

His eyes widen so much they look like two saucers. With those delicious lips parted, Kobe stares at me until we’re both startled by the sound of a door closing somewhere above us. It’s followed by steps down the stairs.

Jasper.

“G-get out. He can’t see us together,” I blurt, pushing him toward the door.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Just go!”

Kobe stumbles out and I quickly wipe away my tears before walking out of the door, too. Just in time. Jasper stops at the bottom of the stairs, darting his eyes in my direction. “What are you doing here?” he asks, his eyebrows drawn down almost menacingly.

I turn that switch inside me, using all of my willpower to put on a mask.

“You left so abruptly and I didn’t know what was going on. I-I was worried about you,” I say, swiftly stepping toward him with an innocent face of a poor, worried damsel. He studies me with some apprehension, but lets me place my hands on his chest and lean into him. “I’m sorry, I just thought that…with all the stress recently, you might…appreciate me being here. For you.”

Now that the knot of unease and uncertainty has come loose inside me, it feels scarily easy to lie and pretend. I know damn well where this is going to lead, and it’s not what I want, but it is what I will tolerate if it means distracting him from other things. Mainly from Kobe.

Predictably, that carnal darkness grows at the back of his gaze.

If I’m only here to be a tempting toy for him to play with…so be it. I recall Kobe’s words in my head as he pulls me in, the desire to take me upstairs and bend me over his table already written on his face.

He was right. I hate this. All of this.

But if I believe him, believe this will be over soon, I can put up with it for a little longer. I can put up with it while dreaming of a better future, for the first time in forever.

Chapter 27

Kobe

---