Page 44 of The Attraction

“Hi, hun.” Just hearing Felisha’s voice is enough to make me want to burst into tears.

“Can we talk, just us?” I ask, knowing that Flynn won’t be far away if she is at home.

“Got to take this in the office,” I hear her mutter and the noise of her moving.

“I’m sorry I’m interrupting your night or whatever you two were up to.” We work so hard that we value our private time that much more.

“I don’t give a shit what we were about to do. You call, I answer, you know that. So, what’s wrong, I can hear it in your voice.” I hear the sound of the door in her office closing, and it’s like permission for me to open my mouth and pour out all the confusion that is trapped in there.

“I should’ve listened. You told me, but I ignored you. Seriously, sometimes I just wish I wasn’t so stupid.” I blab it all out so quickly, I’m not sure she even caught everything I said.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” she replies as I tuck my legs up on my chair and lean back away from my desk.

“Ughhh, you are going to make me say it, aren’t you.”

“You bet I am.” She laughs at me, and I know she’s lying that she said that she doesn’t know what I’ve done.

“Fine,” I huff at her. “I slept with him, okay? There, I said it.”

I listen to her laughing on the other end of the call. “And was it good?”

“No,” I snap.

“Liar,” she replies without hesitation.

“Fine, it was phenomenal, alright? You know, like out of this world, if you must know.” I close my eyes as the night replays in my head.

“So, what’s the problem then?” At least she has stopped laughing at me.

“The problem is that when he looks at me like he does, all sultry and sexy, I want to do it again!” I throw my hand in the air in frustration. “But that can’t happen, you know that.”

“Why can’t it, Harper? Let’s get real here. That man has it bad for you, I can see it in the way he looks at you. And why do you think he moved you into his home? Not just for shits and giggles.” I hate when she isn’t on Team Harper when I’m ranting.

“Because I made that rule a very long time ago and you know why. I’m not breaking it for a man I’m yelling at half the time because he is such an arrogant prick. Sure, he might be the best sex I have ever had, but it’s done now, so I move on like I always do and find my next target. He’ll be hard to beat, but I’ll work on finding someone.”

“Christ, Harper, this is not a game. Men aren’t like prizes you can rack up on your little trophy list.” Her voice changes in tone to be more like a mother than my friend.

“Oh, so it’s different now that you have changed camps and got off the single list. You have standards I need to adhere to.” I’m getting snappy now, and that’s not what this phone call was supposed to be.

“Back the fuck up. That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” Both of us fall silent and take a breath.

“Sorry,” I mumble at the same time she does too.

We both giggle a bit, and then I state the obvious. “We are always in sync, even talking at the same time.”

“Yeah, but you need to tune into my brain and listen to what I’m trying to tell you, Harper.”

“Probably,” I mutter.

“I’m going to come straight out and say this. I have never pushed you before because no man was ever good enough for you, but I can tell that Forrest is different. You can ignore the signs all you like, but you know I’m right. So maybe it’s time to put the trauma from your dad behind you and allow yourself to be happy. And I don’t mean with a nice home, beautiful clothes, traveling, all the materialistic things we both thought was all we needed up until now. Learn from me—they mean nothing, they truly don’t. Being loved and loving freely is the most amazing thing in this world. No Gucci handbag or trip to Milan will ever match it.”

“God, you are making me sound like I’m just a money-oriented woman who doesn’t have one bit of emotion in me.”

“No, that’s not what I said. You are the most beautiful soul, but you are just afraid to let anyone else see that. Let him in, Harper, he might just surprise you.”

“But what if he hurts me?” I whisper my greatest fear in life.

“But what if he doesn’t?” Felisha whispers back at me.

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